Alchemic Reactions
by Blur Feather
Summary: Tsujima Kontaru has been friends with Midoriya Izuku and Bakugo Katsuki since forever. Here they are growing up and living in a superhuman society. Working through quirks and bullies and self-doubt and love and admiration, these three childhood friends have their hands full. They're only going to get fuller.
1. Chapter 1: Preschool

**Chapter 1: First Day of Preschool**

I walk besides Mommy, my hand in her's, my All Might backpack on my back as we walk down the street. It was my day of preschool and I was scared and confused. I didn't want to leave Mommy, but I also wanted to see what Preschool was like. I was curious about kids my age. I only have two friends, and their Mommies are friends with Mommy so I see them all the time.

Izu-tan and Kazu-tan. I have known them since forever.

"Kontaru?" I look up to Mommy - Mommy is so tall - and see her smiling down at me. I couldn't help but to smile back at her, she's so pretty and awesome and I love her so MUCH. "Are you ready for your surprise?" She asks and I nod, excitedly. Bouncing next her and grab her hand with both of mine as she laughs and lifts me up with her super strength and places me on her hip. I squeal and giggle as she snuggles me close.

"You're so cute Kontaru." She sighs, smiling as she started to go faster. I watch as Mommy's long hair becomes a pale yellow in the morning sunlight. It's paler than All Might's.

"You're cute too Mommy." I say back and she laughs, smiling so big it shows teeth.

"Thank you baby." I pout at the name.

"Mommy I'm not a baby." She laughs again, looking at me and booping my nose.

"Of course you aren't Kontaru. You're my big boy. All grown up and going to Preschool." She says before pressing a loud kiss to my forehead. My face scrunches up and I pull away as she laughs. "We're here Kontaru." She says, pointing to a small, sand yellow building. I press myself into her side and hide my face, she rubs my back as she walks into the building.

The walls were blue like the sky and the ground was a dark brown like mud. I look around and see pictures of other kids my age on one wall and finger painting on the one across it. Benches below them. A tall desk in front of us and a small, old woman with brown, flat hair and yellow cat eyes standing behind it. Looking right at us. I press closer to Mommy. The cat-eye lady is scary.

"Hello, I'm Tsujima Kankiko. I'm here to drop off my son, Tsujima Kontaru, for his first day." She says with a smile, the cat-eye lady smiles and she looks kind of pretty too. Not like Mommy-pretty, but she's not scary when she's smiling.

"I'm Kyotani-san. Let me just check him in and then we'll be all set to go." She has a really nice voice. It's like a purring cat. Low and nice. She turns to me, smiling. "It's nice to meet you Tsujima-chan." My cheeks burn and stay quiet. Mommy nudges me with her shoulder and I mumble out a greeting.

"He's just shy with new people. He warms up quickly." Mommy tells and I pout at her before a door next to the desk opens, showing a classroom filled with others kids. It was a small, freckled kid with crazy green and sparkling green eyes, that opened the door.

"Izu-tan! Izu-tan!" I scream reaching for my friend as I try to get out of Mommy's hold. Mommy laughs softly and puts me down, I dash over to my smaller friend the second my feet touch the ground. "Izu-tan! Izu-tan!" We fall over on to the ground, giggling as someone comes over. Looking up, my smile widens. "Kazu-tan, you go here too?" Kazu-tan's sandy yellow hair bounces as he nods, grinning wide.

He holds out a hand for me and I take, pulling Izu-tan with me. "Kochan, there's this really cool playground. You gotta see it." Izu-tan grabbed my hand, but I stopped him. He looks confused.

"Wait. I'll be right back." He lets go of my hand and I turn back to Mommy, running into her arms. "I love my surprise. Thank you Mommy." I say and I feel her smile against my hair.

"You're welcome. Now go have fun with Izuku and Katsuki." She orders, pushing me over to my friends. "I'll be back later, see you later Kontaru." I was already running towards the playground by the time Mommy finished her sentence.

o0oo0o

After looking at the playground - which was awesome, there was a huge jungle gym with three slides and swings and a sandbox - we went exploring in the small woody area behind the playground. We tried to climb some of the shorter trees, but we weren't all that good at it. It didn't matter because when Kazu-tan tried to climb the tree, he fell and landed in a mud puddle.

Izu-tan and I burst out laughing as Kazu-tan wipes his face, trying to look scary when his was as red as an apple, wasn't working. We laughed harder as he launched himself. Our squealing as an all-out mud war started, got Kyotani-san's attention. Her cat eyes landing on us, making us stop quickly.

Heads hanging in shame as we were led back to the rest of the class.

Kyotani-san handed us over to another woman with bright red hair and green scales under her eyes. Kyotani-san called her Hibichi-sensei. And Hibichi-sensei took us to a small bathroom to get rid of our dirty clothes and washed us down, then giving us some spare clothes.

"I'm going to go wash these, but for now, stay inside. We're about to begin today's lesson." She instructs, her s's were funny. Kinda like a hiss. She smiles and pushes us lightly into the main room, before leaving, our dirty clothes in her hands.

We stand outside of the bathroom, unsure of what to do now. The other kids were doing what they were doing with their friends, taking up all of the areas. Except the wooden blocks. I point over there as Izu-tan and Kazu-tan see it too. We smile and race over there.

"I bet I can make the tallest tower!"

o0oo0o

My name was called, just as nap time was coming to an end. I sit up sleepily. My fists trying to rub the sleep out of my eyes as Izu-tan reaches out a hand, with his eyes closed, looking for me. I smile sleepily at him and grab it as my name was called again. Izu-tan smiles, his eyes half open, before closing again as Kazu-tan rolls over and snuggles with Izu-tan.

"Kontaru." I hear Mommy call me and I stand up and gather my sleeping mat and blanket. Giving them to Hibichi-sensei as Mommy walks over to me, giving me my backpack and holding out her hand. I put on my backpack and grab her pinkie. Yawning loudly as Kyotani-san started to wake up the other kids.

"Kontaru, how was your day." Instantly I was awake. Smiling widely as I tell her all about my day. About the playground and the tree climbing to the mud bath and washing. I told her about how I totally won the bet of who can make the tallest tower. And I told her how Hibichi-sensei speaks kinda funny, but how she told the best stories. And how we got our clothes back after lunch. Then it was nap time and that's it.

"Sounds like you had a good first day of preschool. I happy for you Kontaru." Mommy smiles brightly at me and I smile right back at her. I love being with my friends, but I missed Mommy and her smile. I love my Mommy the most.


	2. Chapter 2: Quirks

**Chapter 2: Maybe A Quirk, Maybe Not**

Kazu-tan was the first of us to get his quirk. It was really cool! He can make little explosions in his hands! It's so cool! I hope I can get my dad's cold quirk - he can freeze anything that he touches. But Mommy's super strong quirk is also really cool. She can lift a huge truck with one arm! I've seen her do it before too!

But my big brother, Keinosuke, has a really different quirk than Mommy or Papa. He's _super_ smart and remembers _everything_. And he's only 2 years older than me. Kei-tan is six but already a fourth year in elementary school! That's super cool. I have a really cool big brother.

After Kazu-tan got his quirk, everyone started to get their's. But not my or Izu-tan. Kyotani-san told us that we just might be late-bloomers and to just wait, they'll probably be the best quirks ever. We believed her, she's never lied to us. But she did this time.

Izu-tan came in late one day, a weird smile on his face and tears in his his. I look up at his mommy. She had tears in her eyes too. Frowning, tears in my own eyes, I grab Izu-tan's hand as Auntie Inko tells Kyotani-san and Hibichi-sensei that Izu-tan won't have a quirk.

My eyes go wide as Izu-tan starts shaking, I look at him and see him crying without making any sounds. I cry too and hug him as Kazu-tan comes over, worried and confused. "What's wrong?" He asks, looking up at me. I am the tallest right now, but not by much.

"Izu-tan..." I shake my head, I can't say it. I just cry for one of my best friends as my other just frowns at us. Not getting what was wrong.

o0oo0o

Today was the start of first grade and I still haven't gotten my quirk. Not long after Izu-tan found out he doesn't have a quirk, I got tested. I do, but it hasn't shown yet. The old, fat doctor wasn't sure when it would show, but was certain that it would show before I turned six.

Frowning to myself in frustration, I glare at my worksheet. It was a 'get to know me' sheet. Fill it out, then hand it back to the teacher - who wasn't Hibichi-sensei. It was a mean old lady with white, curly hair and a lot of wrinkles - Tatsunki-sensei.

What's your name? Tsujima Kontaru.

What's your favorite color? Red.

When is your birthday? October 31.

Who is your favorite hero? All Might.

What is your quirk?

I glare at the question, wishing I had an answer. But I didn't have one, so I left it blank and finished the rest of the worksheet. I put down my pencil and stand up with the worksheet in my hands and walk up to Tatsunki-sensei. Handing over the worksheet, I try to walk back to my seat, but she called me back in her scratchy, low voice.

"Tsujima, come back here." I walk back over to her. "Why did you leave one of the questions blank?" She questions and I feel my cheeks burn pink. I push my light grey hair out of my face as I shrug.

"The directions said to fill every one of the questions, I expect an answer. Take this back and fill it out properly, before turning it in." My head hangs as I take back my worksheet, going back to my seat as my table mates quietly giggle.

I glare at the question, tightly holding on to my pencil. After a minute of staring at the question, I write 'to be determined'. That last word I learned from my big brother yesterday. It's really cool having a super smart big brother like my big brother.

I hand in my paper again, and her frowns gets deeper. But she doesn't say anything, just waves me away. I sigh as I sit back in my chair, leaning forward as my classmates finish up theirs. Izu-tan leans towards me, big eyes wide and mouth in a small frown.

"What was that?" He whispers and I shrug, scowling as I look down at my hands. "Are you-" He didn't get to finish his question as a rolled newspaper slams down between us, making us both jump as Tatsunki-sensei glares at us.

"No talking." We didn't talk for the rest of class.

o0oo0o

Spring passed okay, summer was fun. Izu-tan, Kazu-tan and I played volleyball at the beach and hunted bugs at the local park and had family get togethers. It was already October and I still hadn't gotten my quirk yet. I'm turning six in a few weeks, the doctor better not be lying.

Mommy keeps asking what I want for my birthday and I keep telling her I want my quirk. But she just sighs and says she can't control when I get my quirk. No one can.

Kicking at a rock, I'm not looking where I'm going when I bump into some big fourth years. I look up at them, surprised to see them there suddenly. They scowl and glare at me.

"Look where you're going first year." The one I bumped into, spit at me. I take a step back, scared. They were bigger then me and had quirks. They were grinning now, they looked scary and mean. It wasn't like Mommy's or Izu-tan's smile. It looked cruel. I never knew a smile could look so mean.

"Aw, look, he's gonna cry." A small brunet with a lisp, hissed, getting spit everywhere. Also I was _not_ going to cry. I _wouldn't_.

I stand up tall, and scowl back at them. "No I'm not." They laugh at me.

"Go cry to your Mommy, first year, like the baby you are." The biggest one, there were three of them, had dark purple hair and band-aid on his cheek, and looked the cruelest of them all.

"Hey guys," The one with a lisp started, a wide grin on his fat-lipped face, "I heard about this one - he's quirk-less." He cackled, and a look entered their eyes that sent shivers through me.

"Is that true?" The purple haired one asked as he took a step towards me. I take a step back.

"NO!" I yell. "I'm just a late bloomer!" I protest, tears burning my eyes as I tried to stand my ground. They only laugh at me.

"Name one person who was a first year in elementary school and was a 'late bloomer'." I open my mouth to answer, but nothing came out and they laughed at me again. "That's right, no one. You're quirk-less, just accept it." They are so cruel.

"NO!" I scream and run, their laughing echoing in my ears as I hide in the bathroom, crying. I stuff my fist in my mouth to quiet myself as the door opens.

"Kacchan, have you seen Kochan? He left class the second lunch started." I hear Izu-tan as the sink turns on. For some reason, I cry harder.

"How am I suppose to know Deku. I'm not in your class." He points outs, his tone put up, but I could hear worry too. But I couldn't move from my spot, my fist muffling my hiccups and sobs as the bathroom went quiet. Izu-tan and Kazu-tan leaving quickly and I felt my tears flood my cheeks.

I wanted them to stay, but I couldn't call out to them. I feel useless. I feel like a cry baby.


	3. Chapter 3: Changes

**Chapter 3: Change in a Relationship**

I just had my seventh birthday and nothing. No quirk. No freezing. No super strength. No amazing intelligence. Nothing. I gave up trying to see of I had anything similar to those and tried everything to see if I had any other quirk. But nothing has worked. I nearly drowned trying to see if I could breathe under water.

I have never been this frustrated before. I feel like a failure and a let down. The other kids at school most certainly don't help. It's even worse now that Kazu-tan has started to agree with them, all the while acting like he's above them. Above everyone. Even me and Izu-tan. His best friends.

Sighing as I rake my hand through my silvery grey hair, it's a spiky mess of bed head most of the time. With my bangs hanging in front of my eyes, I always have to push them away to see clearly. Scratching the back of my head, I exit the bathroom and head back to my class. It was free time right now, though we were expected to study and prepare for the upcoming tests.

Taking my seat in the back of the class, I quietly scoff as the rest of the class messed about. Kazu-tan in the center of attention. I glance at him from under my bangs, and frown. Everyone was kissing up to him because of his awesome quirk - there's no way I can't agree - and those who didn't and tried to speak against him. Kazu-tan fought them and brought them under him - even our senpais.

Looking down at the notebooks in front of me, I wished I could be three again.

o0oo0o

Izu-tan and I always eat lunch under the same tree at the far end of the playground. Before Kazu-tan normally would join us, but lately he has dubbed us unworthy of his time. Calling Izu-tan, Deku, and me, Seru - short for let down.

Appetite suddenly lost, I put down my chopsticks and lean back against the strong tree truck. Kei-tan has skipped another grade. So he's a first year in middle school as a nine year old. He's tutoring me a lot, and helping me with my homework. He also helps Izu-tan. I offered a chance at a study group with Kazu-tan, but he just threw it back in my face.

"Kochan? Are you okay?" I open my eyes. When had they closed? My iron grey eyes widen as I felt a tear slip down my cheek. I quickly brush it away as I sniffle and look away. Not able to bare to see the concern in those wide green eyes.

"Kochan?" More tears slip down my face as his hand is placed on my shoulder. I placed aside my lunch, before letting Izu-tan pull me into a hug. Letting me cry into his shoulder.

"I want our Kazu-tan back." I finally manage to hiccup out after a minute of quiet crying. Pulling away, Izu-tan wipes away my tears with an All Might handkerchief. He was smiling sadly as he dried my tears.

"I know Kochan. I want our Kacchan back too." He whisper as I hiccup, cheeks burning. I'm such a cry baby.

o0oo0o

My biggest question is why, when you have power to wield as a twitch of a muscle, why does it consume you? The lusting for more and to be on the top, just to be on the top. It's stupid and arrogant. Assuming that you'll just be the most powerful. That no one is stronger than you. Because there always is.

It's stupid.

Okay let's imagine you could get to the top. But what then? Defend your mountain top. You're cold, little mountain top. Sounds awfully lonely.

"Kochan, you're scowling. What's wrong?" Katsuki is so stupid.

"Society." I answer, blandly. Izu-tan chuckles nervously. But he cuts himself off as someone approaches. I look up as a hand collides with my desk, an explosion going off under his palm.

"Katsuki." I half hiss, half snarl. He snarls right back at me. It's hard to believe just a few years ago we were as thick as thieves. "What do you want Katsuki?" I hit his hand off of my desk as Izu-tan shrinks behind me. His hand just whips around and grabs my wrist.

Scowling up at him, he grins - a wild, evil look in his red eyes. My wrist starts to burn and I just clench my jaw. "You're petty." I spit at him, standing up, using my extra inches of height over him as I yank my hand free. "And pathetic Katsuki." He's snarling like a rabid animal as I walk away, the eyes of our classmates on me.

"Get back here Seru!" I turn around just in time to see Katsuki hurl himself at me. We go down to the ground surrounded by screams. One of them was mind as Katsuki's fist connects with my cheek, knocking my head against the ground.

In this moment I realize something. With blurry vision, I watch as Bakugo Katsuki no longer be my best friend. He isn't even my friend or acquaintance. This hot-headed blond with wild red eyes and a powerful, explosive quirk was a stranger. But not just any stranger - this person is my enemy.

And if there is one thing I don't do, is go down without a fight.

I flip us over with a battle cry, my fists slamming down on his chest, causing him to wheeze as he brought his hands up. I bring my arms up defensively, just in time to save myself as he released a strong explosion, point blank range.

I scream in pain as I fall back, Bakugo hissing at me as he jumps on me, except he doesn't, and I being pulled away. So is he. It takes me a moment to understand what's going on. And when I do I flush bright red in frustration and anger.

Glaring back at the yelling blond, I snarl. Though everything is a blur as those hateful red eyes latch onto my own hateful iron eyes.

Though I got one thing - we were no longer allowed to be in the same room without close supervision. That suited me fine. Though I didn't plan on going anywhere near the blond.

Bakugo Katsuki \- blond, red-eyed, explosive, _enemy number 1_


	4. Chapter 4: Pressure

**Chapter 4: Enough Pressure, Anything Breaks**

I was suppose to be happy. Keinosuke graduated UA High School, top of his year, despite being only 14. Setting the record for the youngest to ever graduate from the top hero school. He didn't do the hero program though, he did the support program. And excelled at it too. He excels at everything - unlike his failure of a little brother.

My head disappears into my pillow as I scream out my frustrations. There was only a week till summer break - 5 simple days till I could be done with my first semester of seventh grade. How have I gotten this far again? I honestly can't remember. My memory is a whirlwind of crap and more crap with little breaks where Izu-tan and I sleep over at each other's home and I get to braid his hair.

Don't judge. Braiding helps both of to relax, especially after all of the shit that we go through on a normal day. It's all shitty. I'm suppose to have a quirk, but I don't because the universe just might hate me for something a past life did. Izu-tan can't have a quirk because of some genetic bullshit. And because we aren't shitted on enough already, we have to take more from our peers.

Biting down, harshly, on my lip, my fists grab tightly onto my pillow. A soft knock on my door interrupts my downward spiraling train of thoughts. I don't react to the knock, and after a moment, Izu-tan appears, a smile on his face, dressed and ready for school. So was I, but unlike me Izu-tan actually wants to go to school. Because he enjoys learning. I mean I do too. But the crap I get daily outweighs my desire for knowledge.

"Come on Kochan, we're going to be late." He says, walking in and disentangling me from my lovely pillow and bed. I moan and groan as I resist weakly. "Come on, don't be a baby Kochan." I stick my tongue out at him as I run my hand through my spiky hair. Sighing I stand up and ruffle Izu-tan's curly green mess of hair.

"Whatever, just don't get all sad puppy eyes on me." He pouts, bright pink on his freckled cheeks as I grin cheekily. Chuckling I got past him, grabbing my bag from my desk as I left the room, Izu-tan right behind me. We were already good for school, so we just go down to the front door, slip our shoes on and leave.

My parents leave earlier in the morning, while Keinosuke lives in Tokyo for his internship at the biggest manufacturing and producing hero-tech company in Japan. So I'm alone most of the morning until Izu-tan comes and gets me to go to the little slice of Hell on Earth they call school.

Groaning internally, I get a bad feeling about today. You know, there are those moments where you just know that today is going to be a shit day. Like you feel it down to your core, and getting out of your bed that day is your single most regrettable moment in your life. That's the feeling, but the universe is like 'nope, you get to go through this'.

I seriously must of killed like 47 kittens and 23 puppies in my past life to deserve this.

o0oo0o

We got to school far to quickly for my taste, but we were here and I don't back down from a fight when confronted. So I braced myself and slid open the door to the classroom, Izu-tan right behind me as we head into the lions' den.

I take one step in and freeze, so do the other students - how did they find out?

In front of me was a poster with a blown up picture of me giving my first kiss away to my crush - it was a boy. How did they get this? I wrote him a note and the directions to the park were weird enough to deter someone without them.

The realization made my heart stop and face pale. He knew it was me and set me up.

The sound of my bag dropping to the ground with a soft thud, shakes me down to my core. Instantly I breathing hard, and tears choke me as I back away, body trembling as a single thought raced through my mind - please don't let Bakugo see this.

I'm running before I realize it. And I'm crashing into someone by the time my mind catches up. We were sprawled out on the ground, students staring at us as I stare at the person I ran into with tear-blurred vision.

Horror washed over me as Bakugo starts to yell at me, before cutting himself off. Staring at me with narrowed eyes, I quickly understand why - I'm crying. In front of Bakugo. I want to _die_.

"The hell is - " I don't stay to listen to the rest, I'm running down the stairs and out the front gate, not stopping for anything until I was.

In movies, when a dramatic scene happens the whole frame slows way down. Allowing you to see the entire scene that is normally over in a second. It was like that.

I made eye contact with the driver for a single heart beat, I could feel it too - how it forced blood through my veins and into my limbs and organs. We shared a mutual look of pure terror and realization before his large car slammed into me. I was going one direction and the car was going in the perpendicular way, so I was hit as if I was standing still and was ran right over.

The only upside to this whole day was that I was knocked unconscious when the back of my head crashed against the cement. Maybe, if I'm lucky, I'll stay like that. Unconscious and ignorant of just how my world crumbling around me.

o0oo0o

"Where's my son?!" A tall woman with pale blonde hair screeched, trembling and crying as her even taller husband held on tightly to her wrist, to save himself from a crushed hand. There were doctors and nurses huddled around a bed speeding off to surgery, as the doors to the emergency room opened, revealing a tall teen with messy pale blond hair and despair twisting his handsome face.

"Mom! Dad!" Keinosuke is by is his weeping mother's side the instant he sees her. Aiding his grey haired father - who had naturally grey hair - in holding back his mother from destroying the one place that can save the youngest from the grasps of death.

Tsujima Kankiko collapses into her husband's arms, weeping as Keinosuke gathers up enough of his composure to go up the front desk and ask about his little brother. His little brother is silvery grey hair that is a spiky mess and eyes the color of freshly polished iron. His little brother who had been dealt a shit hand in life. His little brother that better make it out of this alive or else he'll...

Keinosuke's knees wavered in their ability to support his frame for a moment that caused him to grab onto the front desk. He squeezed his eyes shut tight, fighting back the tears, breathing harshly through his nose to keep himself from falling apart. Thankfully the nurse stationed there allowed him, his little moment of weakness and granted him the pleasure of no questions until he could breath without having to choke back tears.

"They're operating on him now. He came in with several broken ribs, a punctured lung, a serve head wound, left forearm broken, left thigh broken, dislocated shoulder and broken collarbone, along with serve internal bruising and bleeding." Keinosuke had to rush away from the nurse and into a bathroom to empty his stomach. Tears mixing with vomit as Keinosuke allowed himself to break down. Right there and then. But once he left the stall, he would have to put a front and be there from his mother and father.

He could do that, for them, for himself and more importantly. He would do that for Kontaru.


	5. Chapter 5: Detached

**Chapter 5: Out-of-body Experiences**

It's really weird watching your own body under go surgery. But I just watched with this sense of detached reality. Watched as the doctors and nurses rushed to save me from death. A thought floated into the forefront of my mind as a doctor and nurse cut into my thigh and pull my bone back into place.

It looks like I wasn't lucky enough to not bare witness my world's downfall.

Standing in there with the doctors and nurses, I watch them for hours. Hours upon hours. I nearly die twice before they stabilize me, that was in the beginning. I look blandly at my bruised face, my lip was busted and there was dark bruises on the left side of my face from where my face slammed into the hood of the car. Blood soaked my hair - what was left of it, large chunks had gotten ripped out - from when my head hit the road.

Glancing up at the clock, I do some quick math and know that we've been in here for just over 16 hours. They were still going, yet, I noticed that they were putting me back together more then they were cutting into me. If I had to guess, there was maybe two more hours, at most.

o0oo0o

Over three hours later, I get up and stretch as the lead doctor stands back, looking me over and nodding her approval. Total surgery time is 19 hours and 28 minutes. They wrap me up real quick as a pair of nurses come in and wheel me out of the operating room.

I start to follow, but pause. I can find my room later, I want to see if my family is here. I wonder if my brother is here. He's taken a week off of his internship to spend the first week of summer with us. Dad probably called him after the first couple of hours. Mom wouldn't be able to do anything until the doctor came back with any kind of news.

That's why I'm following her where my family is probably is waiting. They jumped to their feet the second we came around the corner - I can't be seen, I think the universe had my consciousness detached from my body so I could witness the shit show go down in real time.

I expected to see my family, but I wasn't expecting to see Izu-tan and Auntie Inko. Plus Kazu-tan and his parents. That was the biggest surprise. I knew his parents loved me, but doesn't Kazu-tan hate me? Why would he be here? And was there this desperate look in his wild red eyes as he watched the doctor closely, my family and close family friends huddling close. Mom and Izu-tan right at the front.

"He's alive and stable." The relief was so visibly evident, that it caused everyone's shoulders to sag in the relived weigh of tension. Even Katsuki - he lingered in the back, still sitting down, but the tension was drained out of relief and his head rolled back against the wall. A small sigh escaping him as I sit next to him, pulling my knees to my chest as I stare at him.

When was the last time I got a good look at him? My memories of him have been tainted, but there are some good ones that are faint, but are sweet. Like the mud battle we had on my first day of preschool. Or when I just turned four, before Katsuki got his quirk, we were having a sleep over - just the two of us because Izu-tan got sick and couldn't come - and the hot head managed to persuade me into sneaking out and going to the park at 11 at night just to see the stars together.

I look at him now. Spiky sand blond hair and sun-kissed skin. A handsome face and slanted, bright red eyes, that hold this wild glint in them. But currently his bangs are hiding his red eyes as he listened discretely to the doctor as she told them about my condition.

I already know, so I continue to look at Katsuki, staring at him and taking in the way his lips thinned into a hard, pressed line. A corner twitched down into a scowl when the doctor told them I was in a coma. He tsked, his jaw clenching when she told them, they have no idea when I was going to wake up. The blunt trauma to my head caused a lot of swelling in my brain. It should go down in a couple of days, but the damage that will left behind is unknown.

Katsuki mutters something, that I don't catch, before standing up abruptly and stormed out of there, his parents apologizing to the doctor and everyone else, before going after their tempermental son. Sighing, I uncurl myself and leave with my family to go see my unconscious body.

Since I was still in critical condition, only family members could see me, so Izu-tan and Auntie Inko can't go see me until I was better. That sentence is really weird. Well this whole situation is weird. Especially Katsuki. Why did he react that way?

o0oo0o

Since their first big fight, Seru and he have had many more. But in the beginning of middle school, Kontaru has been blatantly ignoring Katsuki. He would leave any room or area the second the blond stepped foot into it. He wouldn't look him in the eye. He wouldn't look at him at all.

At first Katsuki thought it was because Seru was scared of him - why wouldn't he, Katsuki is the best - but then the blond started to think about it. And the more he did, the more it didn't make sense. For as long Katsuki as known Kontaru, and that's been a long ass time, Kontaru has never backed down from an opponent. Even if just being in the same room that caused tensions to raise between them.

So that wasn't it. It just pissed Katsuki off more, the longer he thought about it. But there was only one answer that made any sense, because Kontaru is stubborn as a rock and won't just himself that easily. The only thing he could think of was Tsujima Kontaru simply didn't want to be around Bakugo Katsuki at all.

For some reason that pissed the blond off to no end.

But what pissed him off more was the fact that he constantly finding himself straining for just a glimpse of those polished iron eyes that seemed to have dulled over the years.

He'd been straining so hard that he couldn't comprehend what was going on when Kontaru crashed into him in the hallway that early summer morning. THey had crashed to the ground, legs tangled and eyes of students boring into them expecting a fight to break out. Except one didn't.

Katsuki took one look at Kontaru's iron grey eyes and saw how tears made them shiny as they stared at him, all wide. He watched as the first few tears slide down his pale cheeks and horror replace shock in those grey depths.

Katsuki scowled as Seru bolted, not a moment later Deku came rushing right behind him from a direction where he heard laughter - it sounded cruel even to his ears. So the blond followed it, his pace increasing with every step. His blood boiling, whatever it was that made Kontaru cry must've been horrible.

And it was - he got outed as gay. Katsuki wasn't even thinking as he destroyed the ones who destroyed Seru - only he, Bakugo Katsuki, could do that. Only he could see Kontaru's tears. Only he could see that wide-eyed look in his eyes. Only he could see him at his weakest. Only him, dammit!

Once he was done - for now - he was going top speed out the front door where he assumed Seru and Deku had run out off. He didn't stop when teachers were yelling his name, he didn't stop when he saw Deku, he only stopped when he saw why Deku had stopped. Why he was hunched over by the front of a car.

It was Kontaru, blood covered him and his uniform. It soaked his silvery grey making it a dark metallic red that made Katsuki want to vomit. But his body was frozen solid to its spot as Deku screamed and sobbed. The teachers were yelling something else now and chaos bloomed around him.

Yet it all faded until he could only hear his heart beat, pulsing in his ears and pounding softly against his ribs. Everything just kind of faded as he stared at Kontaru's half-ladled eyes. They seemed so dead. So dull, having been stripped of their polish.

He was in an ambulance and gone within a heart beat. Yet for that one moment, Katsuki watched the workers take Kontaru from Deku's arms, pulling the screaming nerd away as they got Kontaru hooked up and on air and into the vehicle as the teachers pulled him and Deku back to school.

The school that was buzzing and filled with murmurs. This place was filled with extras, there were only two people there that knew him and one of them is on the brink of death because of these fucking extras!

Bakugo Katsuki saw red and no one was able to handle him as he rampaged his anger and sorrow out.


	6. Chapter 6: Chipping

**Chapter 6: Give Me A Good Reason**

I sat on the window still in my own little room, the thin moon high in the sky. I could barely see the stars from here, there's too much light pollution. I've been here almost a month, you would think I've gotten use to the disappointment. I don't why, but not being able to see the stars makes me incredibly sad.

There's something comforting able them. They hold stories and bare witness to the making of history. Silent watchers. I wish I could join them. Sighing I lean my head back against the wall as the midnight nurse came in and quietly charted down my stats, before leaving to do the same thing for the rest of the remaining ward.

Nights are so boring, and I can't sleep, so the moon and stars are my only company. Maybe that's why I'm always so disappointed when I can't see them. I'm pretty lonely these days. After Keinosuke had to returned to Tokyo, Mom couldn't go by herself and Dad can't always spare the time to come with as he has to cover the hospital fees. Since Mom isn't exactly able to work right now. So they only come during the weekends.

It's hard for Izu-tan to be here to, but he can do it without someone, so he comes by after school and tells me about what happened out in the world. He always ends up weeping and asking if I'm waking up anytime soon. As if expecting an answer that I can voice. Izu-tan won't leave until the end of visiting hours some days. Others he can barely stand to be in here with my unconscious for more then an hour.

I don't blame him. My body has healed well and is still healing, but I have no intentions of waking up, I'm just wondering when Death will come to claim me. I know its selfish, because I have a wonderful family and an amazing best friend. But I know what lays beyond them and their protection. And I'm done with it. I've taken enough shit, I'm just waiting for this odd experience to end and let me to truly rest.

Besides Izu-tan and my family no one has come to visit. That was until today. Katsuki, the high and mighty, Bakugo Katsuki came to visit briefly. He walked in, took a chair, turned it around and sat down besides me. He just stared at me for almost 20 minutes. His wild, red eyes half narrowed and intense as they bore into me.

I came to stand besides him during those long, silent minutes at the end of the day. I watched with curious eyes as he reached out and gently grasped my cold, pale hand. He frowned and I was shocked when I saw the genuine sadness in those eyes. Looking closer, I saw this tamed look about him.

Katsuki was so much more tamed and gentle and subdued than I have ever seen him before in our lives. I was even more shocked by his whispered words.

"Don't you fucking dare give up on me, Kontaru." Just those nine little words with drowned with more emotion then what I was expecting from the blond. Anger, frustration, desperation, sorrow, devastation and above all fear. Bakugo Katsuki was afraid. The hot headed asshole with an ego a mile high and a superiority complex that no 13 year old should have. That blond was afraid and it struck me down to the fiber of my being, that _he was afraid to lose me_.

Those wild, red eyes of his broadcasted his every emotion, so clearly that it broke my heart. But I felt worse that I still held this strong, unrelenting desire to not wake up.

"I'm sorry Kazu-tan." I whisper as he puts back his chair and leaves as visiting end. The picture of his back going out of the door, the evening lights casting long, dark shadows on him, burned itself into my memories. I look down at myself. This spirit version of myself held no scars and wore simple white clothing.

But I can still imagine the pale burn scars on my forearms from Katsuki and my first real physical fight. That final stake in our ruined relationship. Completely shattering what we once had.

Yet when I close my eyes I see him leaving and that is worse then no stars in the sky to keep me company at night. It simply doesn't make sense.

o0oo0o

Days melt into nights, which give birth to new days and more nights that have to be conceived. Those days and nights pile into weeks and weeks give way to months. Five months it will be soon that I have been stuck in this plane between life and death. But with each visit, I feel my will to stay asleep be chipped away. Especially by Katsuki's.

They never change and never waver. His eyes are always intense and focused solely on my body. Watching it closely as if I were to awaken right then as if by sheer force of his will. I watch him, watch me, from my window still as summer chills into autumn and my 13th birthday rolls right on by as the first snows sets in during mid November.

He comes once a week, only for the last twenty minutes of visiting hours. Every time, though, I notice how his body is sagging under the tension in his shoulders. How he drops into his chair with less and less grace. Exhaustion making bags and dark circles appear under his eyes. Those wild, red eyes that always held this untamable glint, seemed defeated.

Yet his gentleness when he grasped my thinning hand never changed. I couldn't feel the warmth that my body greedily drank from his, but I imagine it and it makes me smile a little. He nine little words were only ever spoken that first time. Instead his eyes convey his emotions and I receive them loud and clear each time.

Despite Kazu-tan's visits, it's Izu-tan's one in early December that shatters my wish of wanting Death to take me.

o0oo0o

"Kochan." He's already crying as he falls to his knees, tightly gripping on to my hand, head hanging - he looks like he's praying. "Please, it's time that you woke up. Please, we need you back." He swallows back the emotion threatening to choke him. "Please I need you. When you wake up we can snuggle all you want and you can braid my hair in as many different ways that you please." He begged.

I hide my face in my knees as I hug them close to my chest, my back pressed against the wall next to the door.

"Please Kochan. It's okay you know? It's okay if you're quirk-less, because so am I. We both know this. But it doesn't matter, because we can still become heros. We can become the best and only quirk-less heros. You know. It's me and you. We can do it. But I can't without you. I need you by my side. Kontaru please - come back to us."

I'm bawling and my heart in pounding in my barely moving chest and nursing come rushing in as the heart monitor and several over monitors start going crazy. I'm trembling as my body convulses and Izu-tan is shoved out of the room as the nurses and doctors save me.

A good thing too, because I want to live. I want to be with Izu-tan and watch him become the number 1 hero. And I want to be with Keinosuke as he becomes the number 1 inventor in Japan then in the world and I want to have my mom's way too tight hugs and my dad's quiet, unwavering support. And above all I want to start living a life _I_ want.

I'm going to wake up and never let those who hate, put me down again. I'm going to live how I want to and those who judge can go to hell.

Now there is only thing left to do: wake up.

But how do I do that?


	7. Chapter 7: Desperate

**Chapter 7:** **Desperate Times Call For Desperate Masures**

December tenth. Three days after I nearly died - again - and made up my mind. I want to wake up. But, how to do that, is where I'm stuck. I've tried to fall asleep and see if I'd wake up in my body, but I just end up laying on the floor, wide awake, with my eyes closed for hours. So now, I'm stuck pacing from the door to the window trying to figure out a way to wake up.

It was a Friday and Izu-tan hasn't come back since Wednesday. It's gut wrenching and frustrating, but understandable. Knowing him, he probably thinks that he nearly killed me, though he doesn't understand how he did. And in a way yes, he nearly did, but it was without ill intent, so all is forgiven.

That is besides the point. I'm trying to wake up. That is the point.

Heaving a sigh, I walk over to my body and on the bed besides it. Staring at my face, I take in the details. Pale, sickly skin. Long silvery grey hair a greasy mess. Eyes closed, long lashes resting against cheeks. Breathing mask covering a thin nose and cracked and pale lips.

While there were many scars on my body from the accident, barely were visible. Only a few of the biggest ones on my chest and back were a visible pale pink. The same color as my lips. The doctors here were really good and managed to heal my body really well, so it should only be weak from lack of movement when I wake up. With physical therapy, I should be back up and running in a month.

Scratching the back of my head in annoyance, I look at the door as the nurse comes in and checks my vital, before changing my IV bag. She paused and looked sadly down at me. She cups the top side of my face, her thumb stroking under my eye, in soft, loving brushes.

Then she looked directly at me - the spirit me. And I know she saw me, by the gleam in her dark brown eyes. "It's time you woke up Kontaru - there are people who need you." Then her other hand was on my spirit shoulder and I felt like I was being drawn into her dark depths, unable to look away. I blink and suddenly I'm surrounded by darkness.

o0oo0o

This is equal parts weird and terrifying. I was standing in completely dark room. I have no idea where the walls are, despite walking in only one direction for what feels like hours. I stop and look down at my hands - which is another weird thing, I can see myself, but nothing else - they were trembling. Clenching them tightly, I stuff my fist in my pockets and carry on going through the darkness.

I have no idea what I was looking for, maybe a door. But all things considering a door could either mean life or death. So maybe not. There might be a back hatch that I could sneak out of. Probably not. Also don't judge, I'm terrified and trying to keep a level head. Who wouldn't in this situation?

A memory of Kazu-tan, with that cocky smile of his, flashed before me and I sigh. I think he would be more pissed off then scared if he were here. Not that he would ever get in position like this. He's to... he's to himself. Sighing in aggravation, I look down at my bare feet. I wiggle my toes and take a deep breath. When I look up, I see me!

Taking a step back in shock, before taking a step closer. Because it's me - four year old me, before quirks mattered. I can tell by the care free look in my wide iron eyes. They're so full of life that it makes me angered. Just thinking about the crappy life I got dealt to deal with.

"Hello." Little Me greeted from where he stood a couple meters away. He wasn't smiling, though I smiled all the time when I was little. In fact he wore no expression, he just watched me with wide eyes. His voice was emotionless too. That was very unnerving.

"Hello." I greet back to Little Me. Which is so freaky. I'm talking to a younger version of me, inside, probably, my head. How did I get here again. Oh right that midnight shift nurse.

"What are you doing her mister?" Little Me asks in the emotionless tone, it raises goose flesh all over my skin.

"I'm hoping to find a way to wake up." I answer honestly, because who knows. Maybe Little Me may be able to help. I don't know, but its worth a try.

"Wake up? What do you mean?" He inquires, head tilted in confusion. Fidgeting in annoyance and unease, I walk up to Little Me and crouch in front of him.

"I was in a bad accident and fell asleep. I've been asleep for a long time and need to wake up. But I don't know how. Can you help me?" Little Me stares at me with curious eyes, head tilted in thought. Thinking about it for a moment, before stretching out a hand.

"I can, but there's something you need to do for me first." He explains. That curiously innocent look in his bright, iron eyes, never wavering. So after a deep breath, I take his hand. Instantly the room is flooded with white, after a moment, my eyes readjust and look at Little Me. But it was the thing behind him that caught my eye.

It was a massive door with ritual-like circles and writing on it. It was a dark white with dark lines burned into it. The door wasn't connected to anything, it just stood there, standing on its own.

I look back at Little Me, that look never changed. "What do you want me to do?" I ask, hesitant, because somehow it involved that big ass door. And its a little freaky.

"I need you to get my quirk." I give Little Me a double take. He wasn't curious, he was serious. Hold up. He wants me to get his quirk - its probably behind that big fucking door. "I can't reach it and it's scary in there." He turns and points to the door. Yea, no shit, it's scary in there.

Oh God; I'm going to do. Aren't I? Damn. But desperate times, desperate measures. I need to wake up and if this is the only way to do, then what choice do I have... Not going to answer that.

"Okay. Umm... What does it look like?" I ask as I stand up, his hand in mine as we walk up to the door. Little Me doesn't answer, instead he lets go of my hand and walks up to it and knocks three times on it, before scurrying behind me. Peeking out from behind my legs.

Drawing in a silent breath I watch as it splits perfectly down the middle and swing inwards. Do you know have creepy that it?! Like super fucking creepy. A shiver runs through me and my little hairs stand on end.

"Hey, what does your quirk... look... like?" Trailing off as I look down. I no longer see Little Me. He disappeared, just like he appeared. Into thing air. Running a hand through my hair I sigh in resignment. "Fuck it." I breath and walk into whatever the hell I'm walking into. All I know is that it's dark and becoming darker as I watch the doors close behind me.

Once they seal shut I feel the regret sink in. "The hell did I do?"


	8. Chapter 8: Wonder

**Chapter 8: Nothing's Lost Forever... Right?**

It was December twenty-fourth, Christmas Eve, and Kontaru was still under. Katsuki mostly felt sad, because he had no energy to be angry with the world and fellow student. He's constantly tossing and turning at night. Awake with worry and fright. He would be pissed off, but he was too tired and too sad.

Dammit. Those dead eyes from the accident, haunt his nightmares. Rarely does he get a reprieve from them. The blond leans forwards into the back of the chair as he watches the younger. He's so thin now. His chest steadily, but barely, moving up and down. Little puffs of hot air on the air mask. Proving that he is living, despite looking so dead.

Katsuki lays his cheek on his folded forearms, his head was sagging and his eyes felt so heavy. God, he wanted to sleep, but later, when he's home. Right now he was with Kontaru, and he won't take his eyes off of him until it was time to leave.

Because, today just might be the day, he'll open his eyes. Maybe, just maybe, Kontaru will look at him then.

o0oo0o

Most of the time wandering and being lost are two different things. But I'm lost, so I'm wandering. Then again, can you be lost in a void, or are you just kind of stuck? You know. That's good question, I'll have Keinosuke once I get out of here. Wherever _here_ is. Whatever it is, more like.

Then I bumped into something. I step back with a groan, before the realization dawned on me. I ran into a wall! I place my hand on it and its solid. I can't see it, but it's solid. Walking along side it, it turns a corner after a couple meters, then a couple more meters and it turns again, I run my hand along it and find a door knob.

I'm almost jumping with joy right now. That's how relieved I am, that _something_ happened.

Turning the knob, it goes inward and reveals... my childhood bedroom? What?

I go inside, leaving the door as a safety precaution, when the door closes. On it's own. Then disappears. Because why wouldn't it? I'm, honestly, not surprised by any of this, anymore. I've been a lot of shocking things lately, so this is nothing.

It's still though, when I turn around and on the bed was Little Me. "Did you find my quirk?" He asks, though I have a feeling he already knows the answer. At my silence, he sighs and swings his little legs over the side of the bed. He looks disappointed as he stares up at me. "I can't help you, if you don't help me." He points out and I nod in agreement.

"Yea, I know. But I don't know what to look for." I state and he looks at me like _I'm_ the idiot here. He opens his mouth, but I cut him to the chase. "I know that I'm looking for your quirk. But I don't know what _that_ looks like." I explains and his mouth clicks shut. Humming in thought.

"Don't you have a quirk?" He asks, no ill-intent meant. But I still felt it.

"No... I don't. I was suppose to have one. My entire family has one. I'm the only one." I stated, my tone sounded so defeated, even to my own ears. He frowns, confused.

"What went wrong?" God, I wished I knew. I really do. Because I have no clue. I got checked out by so many different doctors and different times. They all said they say thing - I should have one, maybe I'm a late bloomer.

"I... don't know." Tears made my voice thick, and breathing difficult. It's so, so, _so_ unfair. I'm fine with being quirk-less. But to hang false hope in front of me for so long, is just so cruel. Who even gets off on making a _little kid_ suffer like that, for so long?

I didn't realize I was crying until, one fell onto my lip and I licked them. The salty water tasted like defeat on my tongue. I look down when Little Me tugs on my pants.

"Mister, are you okay?" He asks, making me laugh bitterly. I crouch down and shake my head as I wipe away tears that are quickly replaced. "Mister, I think my quirk is in there." I turn to wear he points - its the closet. I nod, at least I can do this for him. Then I can return back to my world. Back to Izu-tan and my Mom and Dad and Keinosuke. And maybe, Kazu-tan too.

I stand up and open the little pocket door. In it are clothes and toys of a four year old. So I look through them and find old shoes, some cars and books. A couple photos of me, Izu-tan and Kazu-tan as babies. I set those asides gently and keep going, until I find a small little jar, in the very back, buried under everything else.

There was something fireflies floating in it, little lights of pale greens and yellows. I knew that this was it - his quirk. It seemed so gentle, so comforting, I wondered what it is. And not for the first time - I wondered what mine was. My elusive, mysterious and troublesome quirk - what could it be?

Backing out of the closet, I walk over to where Little Me was waiting, sitting on the end of his bed. I sit down next to him, as I hand over the small glass jar. His iron eyes lit up like fireworks during a summer festival. Sighing, I lay back on the bed.

I was so tired. I just wanted to sleep. So I closed my eyes. Only to open them when I feel a weight settle on my stomach. It was Little Me, his jar clutched tightly against his chest. I sit up, my arms coming around him as he slides down to my lap.

"Something wrong?" I ask and he shakes his head. He stares intensely at me for a long moment, before nodding to himself and opening up the jar. I watch, uneasy, as they float up and stayed between us. Little Me put aside his jar and took the little lights into his small hands. Then he pressed them into my chest.

Alarm rises in my chest as the lights melted into me, before the exhaustion started to set in, outweighing my raising panic. "Say hello to Kazu-tan for me." I feel head first into the long-forgotten abyss of sleep. An odd feeling of enlightenment filling me as my consciousness settled once again into my body.

o0oo0o

Katsuki sighs as he realizes his time with Kontaru is almost up. So he straightens himself up and takes his hand in both of his. Katsuki could feel himself trembling. It's been over six months since the younger got put in this bed. Six, long, exhaustion, emotional, months.

"Kontaru, please." Damn, was he really begging? Yes, he was. "Damn Seru, come on. It's time you fucking wake up already. You're missing me become the greatest." He muttered.

"What's with you and being the best?" Katsuki looked up from where he was holding Kontaru's hand to his iron eye. Those amusement eyes, were open and looking directing at him. They were so soft, it made Katsuki suck in breath - no one has looked at him like that.

"Hey Kazu-tan." Kontaru breathed as he weakly squeezed his hands back. A breathtakingly beautiful and small smile on his pink lips, a flush on his skin. Warmth in his hands. Alive. Awake.

Bakugo Katsuki would forever deny it, but that day, the day before Christmas of his thirteenth year, he hung he head and cried.


	9. Chapter 9: Recovery

**Chapter 9: What Happens Next**

My brother was down for the holidays, so when the hospital called my family after Kazu-tan got a nurse before he left, they all rushed down together to see me. I was still exhausted and my body was really weak and stiff, but I was really happy that I got to see them.

There were so many tears and hugs and arguing, and talking over each other in the beginning. But it settled down once Mom settled down, and got most of her tears out of her system. They talked about what happened with the driver and will happen next with school and my recovery now that I'm awake. Physical therapy, extra lessons etc, everything I expected.

But one thing I wasn't expecting was that Dad got a really good job offer in Yokohama as a counsel member and overseer of an international shipping company. They heard about me and readjusted their offer - since they really want Dad - that he could come start once I wake up if it was by the end of the year. If not, they'd have to withdraw it. But with few days to spare, he could still say yes. And I pushed him to do it, despite them warning me that if he got it then they would have to move to Yokohama.

I told them it was fine. There were bullet trains and phones - I could text and call Izu-tan anytime I wanted. It was okay. So when their hour - the hospital allowed them an hour to talk to me, since the situation was what is was - they left and Dad promised to make the call in the morning. Since it was almost 8:30 at night. They left with a promise to see me in the morning.

I sigh, and am asleep the second my eyes closed. This time, I woke up to the sound of bird song outside, the next morning.

o0oo0o

I went to physical therapy several hours a day, everyday, all throughout winter break - during that time I wasn't allowed to go home, since they needed to monitor my brain for any damages. So when school rolled around on the tenth of January, I was strong enough to go back to school, with some precautions.

I had to have someone with me at all times and go straight to the nurse if I wasn't feeling okay in the slightest. Also I can't go down stairs on my own, and I probably should have someone close by when I use the bathroom. It was all a bother, but so worth it, since it meant I got to get out of the hospital and breath good, fresh air.

Yet neither Izu-tan or Kazu-tan have come visit me since I woke up. It hurt a lot actually. I mean, I expected it with Kazu-tan, but with Izu-tan? No. I was confused and I was hurt. And I plan on confronting him once I get to class.

Since I have a super smart older brother, he helped me get caught up with my classes during my down moments before PT sessions during the two weeks. Originally he only had one, but managed to convince his boss to give him another, because I woke up from my six and a half month long nap. I wasn't completely caught up, but I know enough, and am smart enough, that I won't be completely lost once the teachers start.

Sighing through my nose, I walk into school. It was so weird, the last time I was here, I was outed and ran over. Such great memories I have here. I change my shoes as a girl comes up to me. She was a small thing with bright purple hair that was curled so tightly, it was a down-fro. She had black eyes and looked like she was seeing a ghost.

"Are you Tsujima Kontaru?" I make a face at her. Who else would I be?

"Yes. That's me. Can I help you?" Raising an eyebrow at her, I stare down at her with narrowed grey eyes. She's nervous and about to say something, really stupid. I can feel it.

"Your the quirk-less, gay kid that got ran over before summer break. You don't look like you did though." She states and I freeze. She does too, once I start glaring at her. She shrinks under the heat of my ire.

"First of all, I'm not quirk-less. Second of all, so what if I'm gay? You got a problem with that? And lastly, don't fucking talk to me again." I snarl at her and walk past her, my side roughly bumping into hers as she whimpers in fear. "Pathetic." I mutter under my breath as I start up the stairs.

I knew my first day was going to be rough, I just didn't think it was going to start like _that_.

o0oo0o

"Midoriya Izuku." I nearly shout, when I see him sitting in his seat, two away from mine, head hidden in his arms. He nearly jumps out of his skin when I call his name. I stride up to him and in the desk in front of his's chair, backwards. placing my hands on his wrists. "Come on Izu-tan. Look at me." I whisper and see his small frame tremble.

Tentatively, almost afraid of what he might find, Izu-tan looks up at me. Tears in his green eyes. A watery smile is the reaction I get when I give him a toothy grin. "I'm alive Izu-tan. Don't think you can rid of me that easily." My grin turns into a soft smile. "Besides you promised I could braid your hair as much as I wanted when I woke up." His eyes go wide as shock and disbelief filtered through him. His brain trying to catch up with the information I just gave him.

But at that moment, I look up and see Kazu-tan in the doorway. Leaning against the frame, wild, red eyes locked on me. He jerks his head towards the hallway, before turning around and leaving. I look back to Izu-tan, he was also staring at where Kazu-tan was. He looked back at me fear and confusion in his eyes. I wave off his concern, muttering "I'll be back soon." before standing up and following Kazu-tan.

The blond was waiting for me outside the door, our eyes meet and he leads us to the back of school where no one is currently. I lean against the cold wall, my breathe a white cloud of steam.

"Please don't take long, Doc says to avoid being outside right now as much as possible." I saw him stiffen up - more then he already was. He turned towards me, the same look in his eyes from when I first woke up - it was this desperate look of... something. I don't know what it was, but it held this burning intensity that burned me from the inside.

"It won't take long." He told, and suddenly he was close, so close that I feel his hot breath against my face. My eyes close, unsure of what the hell he was thinking. Then something so unbearably soft brushed against my lips. I gasp at the shock that it sent through my system. My cheeks burning as I hesitantly open when he didn't press further.

They were red, but so close, I could see small licks of yellows and oranges. Fire. He was the embodiment of fire. And he's going to devour me till there's nothing left, but ashes.

My eyes close as his lips pressed against mine, more firmly. I almost sigh, my hands unconsciously, gripping on to his biceps. Seeking something to ground myself to as he became more demanding. The soft moan that escaped me when his togue slipped into my mouth, couldn't be helped.

Then he was pulling away. I open my eyes, feeling hazy. He was smirking soft. It was almost a smile. "Can't overload you, your first day back." I scoff at his cockiness, but let it slide. I lean my forehead against his and sigh.

"Thanks for the consideration, Kazu-tan." I smile and he blushes. It was kind of cute. But this changes everything. What am I going to do now? Worse, how do I tell him, come three months from now, I'm moving some 300 miles away. One thing I know for sure though, it isn't going to be pleasant.


	10. Chapter 10: Alone

**Chapter 10: Apologies That Don't Mean Shit**

How long has it been since been I've been to Masutafu? Two years? Almost three I think. It's winter break currently, so Keinosuke and I are going to down to go apartment hunting, since I'm applying to UA High, I'm going to be needing to live closer. My brother too, that the only way I convinced my parents to let me live so far away. Beside he got a job at the company who makes the hero suits for the UA students.

I look out the window of the bullet train. The scenery a blur of white and brown. When I left Masutafu, it was in March, at the end of my first year of middle school. And the last time I saw my ex, was the day before I left for Yokohama.

 _"You're what?" Explosions went off in Kazu-tan's hands, from his anger. I sigh in exasperation. Leaning back in the park bench as I watch my hot-headed blond stomp and pout and act like a five year old._

 _"I'm moving to Yokohama." I repeat slowly, calmly. He snarls down at the ground, before looking open at me with blazing red eyes._

 _"I heard you the first time Seru." My eyes narrow at him. I told him not to call me that when we're alone. It's okay when we're in public, since we need to keep out relationship hidden. But that doesn't means it still doesn't irritate me. It's just worse, when we're allow. Because we agreed to call each other by our first names, not any nick name._

 _"Then where lays the problem?" I ask, gritting my teeth in annoyance and raising anger. He's in front of me, glaring down at me as if I were Izu-tan. Which I have been trying to improve their relationship, but Kazu-tan isn't taking to it and Izu-tan is just too scared. He doesn't have the self-confidence needed to handle Kazu-tan. I worry for when I leave._

 _"The problem is that you're fucking leave to go live 300 fucking miles away!" He roared, and I'm half glad it's nighttime, because there aren't a lot of people around right now._

 _"Keep your voice down Katsuki. We're in public." I snap and he snaps his mouth shut as we glare at each other. "We can visit each other on long weekends. Plus there are phones now-a-days. are you not okay with a long-distance relationship." I pause, a realization dawning on me. "Do you not want us to be together, if you can't have me right there besides you always?" I ask quietly, my eyes locked with his._

 _"It's not that." He finally gritted out after a couple minutes._

 _"Then what is it?" Because I want to be with you, but if you can't have that trust in me then..._

 _"I..." He swallowed awkwardly, "What if something happened... I cant lose you." He finally whispered, sounding small. Looking away, face and ears turning red as my eyes widen. I couldn't help but stand up and kiss him. I smile at him, my arms wrapped around his neck. Katsuki had grown during my coma, so we were the same height now._

 _"You're not going to lose me Katsuki. It isn't going to be like before. Besides I can defend myself. With or without a quirk." I point out and he rolls his eyes. His hands are on my waist as he kisses me. I smile into the kiss. Maybe he was getting it now._

 _"But not as well as I could." He quips and I pull away with a frown. Or maybe he wasn't getting it. Pushing away from him, I scoff. "What? Got a problem with the truth?" He pushes. But it's the wrong way. I whip around at him, eyes blazing and anger raising._

 _"No, I don't. But you have a problem with your ego." His smirk is gone, replaced with disgusted frown._

 _"I don't have a problem with my ego. I just know that I'm better then everyone else!" The silence is deafening. And it takes Katsuki a moment to figure out his mistake. He's trying to back track, but it's too late. The words are said and hang there between us._

 _I throw my hands up in defeat, turning around and walking away. "Kontaru, I'm sorry - I didn't mean-" I cut him off before he can finish that ridiculous sentence._

 _"No. Don't lie. You meant it. Bakugo, you believe that you are better then everyone. So don't spout apologies that don't anything to you, except to get me back. I'm done." I'm panting and close to tears. I hate lies. And I hate pity. And above all, I hate people that think they're above everyone else._

 _Why did I get together with him again?_

 _"Good bye Bakugo." I say, turning and leaving. That was it. We are done. And I felt it shatter my heart. But I had to, his ego is unmanageable and he doesn't trust me. It's the second one that hurts me the most though._

o0oo0o

The apartment was a small, cozy two bedroom with the door leading to a small galley kitchen that opened up to the living/dining room. There was a small hallway behind that had four doors. Two for the rooms, one for the toilet, then one for the bath and shower. It was located close to the station and from there it was a short 15 minutes ride to UA and only 30 to Keinosuke's new job. going the opposite directions though. It was also affordable and new. Big pluses.

I was wandering the neighborhood as Keinosuke did the paperwork. We were on the other side of town from where we use to live, so this kind of new. Brings back a lot of nostalgia, actually, the further I get into town. I happen across the largest park here and pause. This was where I ended it with Bakugo.

I didn't even notice when my feet brought me to same place. Loneliness coursing through me as I look at the snow covered trees. It was dark by now, despite it being mid-afternoon. For some reason the memory of Bakugo leaving after his first visit while I was under, popped into mind.

It isn't the first time, the snow has brought, Bakugo back to my mind. Our first kiss was in the snow. We never said that we loved each other, but it was understood that we did. Just like how I didn't need to spell it out to him that I was breaking up with him all that time ago. It was understood, that I was done, and nothing could be done.

"I'm sorry I broke your heart." No I wasn't. I wished I could hurt him more. So deeply, that he could never forget me. Or what we had. Or had his lack of trust hurt me. Or how he couldn't understand an ego has no place in a relationship.

Sighing, I look up at the fat moon. There were no stars. The loneliness nearly choked me.


	11. Chapter 11: Promises

**Chapter 11: What's Unsaid, But Understood**

It was a cold March night. One moment, his lover was in his arms, the next he was watching him walk away. And with each step the younger took, the colder it got. Knowing Kontaru wasn't his to hold anymore. The cold numbed his heart and froze him to his spot. Helpless to watch the leaving of the best thing he ever had.

Katsuki walked through the same park now, almost three years later, in early January. January. If they were still together then they would be having they're third anniversary in just a couple days. but instead of three years, they got three months. Three lovely, almost blissful months.

Sure they had their fights, but that was mostly at the beginning when they were settling into routines and understanding each other. It had been years since they had an actual, good conversation. But it was different that time around. This time, Katsuki could hold and kiss him. And know that whenever the blond needed, he could see his polished iron eyes.

But now he couldn't. And it killed him a little to know that he was responsible for that. He can't even be angry at his lost lover, because the blond has thought about it over and over like a broken record. And every time, he comes up with the same answer: his ego - his fault.

Not that matters much now anyway. What with the likelihood of him ever coming back, a faction of a percentage. It was ever slimmer that he would look at Katsuki like that again.

The blond ran a gloved hand through his spiky hair in irritation as he came to the small break in the path. It was the same place Katsuki last saw...

"Kontaru?" The other whipped around, iron eyes wide in shock. Those polished iron eyes were the same as before.

"Katsuki?" God, Kontaru was as beautiful as the day he let him go.

o0oo0o

I stare up in shock as Katsuki - the same as the one I just thinking about - walked down the stairs to the little clearing that bore witness to out last meeting. My heart was pounding and I felt like I was about to throw up. But I never back down, and I won't start today. So, I stuff my trembling hands in my coat pockets and stood my ground as he got closer. Katsuki stopped just outside of touching distance.

"What are you doing here?" He asked after his eyes took me in greedily. Like a man dying of thirst was allowed water finally.

"I'm-"

"Kontaru! Come on, our train's going to leave soon!" Damn, bro, you have some timing. Keinosuke was standing on the other side of the clearing, breathing hard - he had been running. I look over to Katsuki and for a moment there was jealousy in his wild, red eyes. But it was gone as quickly as it appeared.

"I have to go... But I'll see you in March." I'm walking away, throwing a back hand wave over my shoulder as I went.

"See you later, Katsuki."

o0oo0o

Katsuki watched as Kontaru left him alone in that clearing again. But there was one key difference - there was an unsaid promise that come March, they would see each other again. Kontaru never broke his promises. Katsuki could hardly wait.

o0oo0o

Damn, it was my first day of High School and first I slept through my alarm - not my fault, I was up unpacking the apartment and getting it semi-useful - then the train breaks down and is delayed almost 10 minutes. But if I run, full speed from the station to UA, then I can make it on time. Only barely.

Jogging in place helps me stays focused and ready to go when the door opens at my station. I get weird looks, but I'm going to be late if I don't book it the second those doors open. And the moment they are open wide enough to et me through, I'm tearing through the station. Sprinting my way through the streets and into the school, up the stairs ad slamming the door open the same moment the bell goes off.

Panting, all eyes land on me. I don't give a shit. Wiping the sweat of my chin, I straighten only to be tackled down to the ground by a green blur. Blinking in surprise, I see a wild mess of dark green hair. My head falls back and a breathy chuckle escapes me.

"Izu-tan. No need to be clingy." I huff as I stand up, Izu-tan hangs from my neck, his face buried in my chest. I pat his back, holding him tight for a moment before I have to peal him off of me. Just in time for out Homeroom Teacher to show up. Aizawa-sensei aka the pro-hero Erasure Head.

He tells us that we aren't going to the freshman ceremony, instead we were going to do a quirk-evaluation test. So put on the gym uniforms and meet him outside at the field. Once he left, we went to the locker rooms and Izu-tan was spouting non-stop questions at me - not even to give me a chance to answer them - before the tall, glasses boy came over.

"Midoriya-kun, who is this? A good friend?" I laugh as I strip of my clothes, heavy eyes on my at they watch my movements.

"Izu-tan, Kazu-tan and I are childhood friends. But I moved to Yokohama at the end of seventh grade." I explain as I start to unbutton my shirt. "My name is Tsujima Kontaru." He stutters and I smile in amusement.

"I'm Iida Tenya, pleasure to meet someone that Midoriya-kun knows and doesn't have a bad attitude." A couple of guys, close by laugh. While I notice that Katsuki tense. I remove my shirt, placing it my locker, then work on my belt.

"Don't worry, I may not look it, but my attitude was as bad as Kazu-tan's back in late elementary school." I roll my eyes, just thinking about those times.

"Yea, you and Kacchan would get into so many fights that there was a rule put in place that you guys couldn't be the same room unless there were two adults near by." Izu-tan laughs and I hear Kazu-tan scoff.

"What is it Kazu-tan, not happy to see me after so long?" I tease and he snarls, slamming his locker closed and zipping up his uniform before stomping out of the locker room. Not a single word said to me. It hurt, but it's always like this when we're around people. But I knew that he was happy to see me. Because, I knew I was happy to see him.

Despite everything. I was happy. UA was a new start. I had declared that I was going to just let things happen the way they are going to happen. If something good happens, great. If its something bad, then I'll get through it.

This epiphany allowed me to get rid of so much of my stress and anxiety.

"Kochan, are those tattoos?" Izu-tan whisper-shouted at me as I finished changing. He was pointing at my wrists where intricate alchemic, transmutation circles lay. They were actually homemade temporary tattoos made with permeant pen, baby powder and some hairspray.

"Yes, but they're temporary. My mother would never allow that. You know this."I bump my shoulder with his. His chuckles shyly, scratching the back of his head as we walked out to the testing field. Getting him to let go of the subject with the promise, I'll explain later.

A glance in away from Izu-tan shows my Katsuki. His blazing eyes on me.

 _Later_. His eyes promised me.

 _Later_. I nodded back.

It was unsaid, but understood that it the long-delayed talk was finally going to happen today, but _later_.


	12. Chapter 12: Communicate

**Chapter 12: Communication Is Key**

"You-you- Dammit Izuku, you broke your finger!" I'm blown away by Izu-tan's quirk - oh I'm totally asking about that later - but my major concern currently is the fact, to be able his quirk, he has to break. His. Own. Body! What the Hell is that kind of quirk?! Also it seems like Kazu-tan didn't know about this new development in our childhood playmate, either. And was quite upset with it.

So after Aizawa-sensei calms him down and I smack Izu-tan upside the head for injuring himself, its my turn to throw the ball. I take it and check the fire transmutation on my right wrist. Technically I don't need it to create fire, but it helps stabilize the odd state of matter and allows me to give it more power with a smaller chance of it going wild.

Tossing the ball a couple times in the air, I get into position. You know, I think this is the first time Izu-tan and Kazu-tan will see my quirk in action. Back when we were still dating, Katsuki would only come with me to old bookstores and help me look for books on alchemy. That was before he got bored and hauled me off to some alley to go make out.

Shaking my head at Katsuki's insatiability, I toss the ball high in the air before pushing energy through the transmutation circle on my skin and lighting my forearm on fire. I hear Izu-tan gasp as I smack the ball hard, giving the impact an explosive fireball as a boost. It's sent soaring as I release my quirk, and rub my shoulder, walking over to Izu-tan as Aizawa-sensei revealed my score.

"812.7 meters!" I thought Izu-tan was going to faint there for a moment. I was ready to catch him and everything, as he wobbled, before he straightened and looked at me as if I were All Might. I may or not have blushed a little as Izu-tan gushed over how strong I've become the few, short years I was gone. I was too embarrassed to spin it back on him. Especially with hot eyes boring into me.

o0oo0o

The rest of the tests went okay, Izu-tan struggled through all of them. So when the results of the test came back, I landed seventh place, I can't say I'm surprised to see Izu-tan has placed twentieth. Though I knew Aizawa-sensei wasn't bluffing in the beginning, I saw the shift in him, so I wasn't that worried about my best friend. Though he _definitely_ was.

After the evaluation, we had lunch, then our regular classes. Hero classes start on Day 2. Then its the end of the day, and I can't help the small amount of dread in my stomach as the class empties. I send Izu-tan ahead of me, telling him I needed to talk to Kazu-tan. The shorter was the only one that knew of our relationship, he still is. So he understood and told me, he'll see me tomorrow.

I see him off, before returning to the classroom where Katsuki awaits me.

o0oo0o

The door closes softly behind Kontaru, leaving him alone with Katsuki in their shared classroom for the first time in years. The silence was so thick, you would need a knife to cut through it. The two former boyfriends looked at each other as the tensions rose, before Katsuki caved first.

He groaned in irritation, scowling as he ran a hand through his hair. "So this is what you meant by 'see you in March'." He says, but it so awkward. This whole thing is awkward. Kontaru was cringing, internally, so hard.

"Yes. I was down here apartment hunting back in January." The younger explains, pausing to organize his thoughts. "I'm living with my brother, while I'm going here." Kontaru was berating internally, for not coming out and saying it. But luckily Katsuki got his unsaid statement.

"You're staying." The blond states for Kontaru. While it was said blandly, as if talking about the weather, but the taller could hear the hope in the blond's voice.

"Yes." Katsuki ignores the butterflies in his stomach at Kontaru's soft smile. But then it drops and Katsuki finds himself wanting to kiss it back on. Not that he'll do it, or even be allowed to.

"Katsuki," Damn, his name on Kontaru's tongue sounds like music - fuck, he's such a damn sap. "About us..." Kontaru trailed off into a sigh. Scratching the back of his head, the taller walked over to his desk - it was the one in front of Katsuki's - and started to pack up, just to be able to do _something_ , except stand around and fidget. Before stopping in frustration and clenching his firsts in determination.

Kontaru turned around to face Katsuki as he sat on the desk behind the younger. "About us, I think we rushed it before." He finally said. Kontaru hates to admit it, but he thinks about his failed relationship more then he probably should. "We were thirteen and I had just woke up out of a coma. Besides we hated each other before I went under, so its just... it's just odd." Kontaru felt more and more of his fight leave him with each word that left his lips and fueled the fire in Katsuki's eyes.

"I never hated you." Katsuki confessed quietly. Kontaru just stared at him.

"You definitely acted like it. You definitely hate Izuku." Kontaru shot back, almost sounding impassive as he leaned back against his desk, arms crossed. Katsuki knew this sudden change, it was the calm before the storm. Right now he needed to pick his words carefully, or else he could make things worse.

"Why are you bringing up the Shitty Nerd?" The blond snapped and Kontaru's eye twitch. Strike one.

"Because Katsuki, you hate the weak - the quirk-less - and while both of us use to be quirk-less, we were you best friends. Yet you started to call us those horrid names! Deku and Seru! Mind-less puppet and let down? Do you know how much Izuku looked up to you?" Kontaru was yelling, old emotions bubbling up fast. Everything that he never got to say gushing out of him. Nearly choking him with the betrayal, blinding him with unresolved anger.

"Don't fucking make shit up Kontaru!" Katsuki yelled right back, getting in Kontaru's face. "Deku looks down at me. He always has! Especially now! That Shitty Nerd has been holding back on showing his quirk. Making me look like a fool. Acting as if I wasn't worth it to show his quirk for!" Kontaru slapped him, panting in his anger.

"Its not always about you Bakugo! Did you even see him when the news came out that he was quirk-less? He was desperately trying to fight back ad see if he had _anything_! BUt then reality set in and he got it that maybe wasn't going to get a quirk. But he still wanted to be a hero! Do you know what he said to me when I was under? He begged and pleaded to me that even if we were quirk-less that we could be quirk-less heros together. But he needed me there with him!" Kontaru was crying, so wrapped up in his emotions he didn't notice his slip up. Katsuki did though.

"You were aware?" Kontaru paused, his body going ridged. He couldn't see the blond's eyes, they were covered by his bangs, but Kontaru could tell they were blazing. The taller sighed as he deflated against his desk. Gripping the edges for support.

"Something like that." Kontaru finally confessed, looking away from Katsuki. He didn't have the strength to meet Katsuki's eyes. Even if they were hidden.

"How long?"

"The moment I slipped under. A couple minutes after I arrived at the hospital. It was pretty odd seeing my body operated on."

"How long did the surgery take?'"

"!9 hours, 28 minutes."

"Do you who was there in the waiting room?"

"Yes."

"Who?"

"My mom and dad. Keinosuke. Izuku and Auntie Inko. Auntie Mitsuki and Uncle Masaru. And you." A brief pause. "Why were you there? Why did you then leave?"

Katsuki looked beyond his bangs and found Kontaru staring at him. His polished iron eyes, were tired, the shadows under his eyes didn't help. And they were searching. Looking for an answer they haven't been able to find.

"Why did you kiss me?"

"Why did you kiss me back?"

No one wanted to say anything. But something needed to be said.

"Did you know, your eyes aren't just red. There are yellows and oranges too. Like fire. When you kissed me, I saw it. I still remember the thought that went through my mind when you looked at me, ' _he's going to devour me_ '..." Kontaru sighed and turned around, quickly finishing up his packing, before heading out. But pausing right before the door.

"I don't know why I kissed you back. I don't understand why I was in a relationship with you at all, after everything. But I hope we can, at least, be friends this time around."

No. Katsuki didn't want to be friends with Kontaru. Katsuki knew he was selfish, but he wanted Kontaru all to himself. And he wanted everyone to know who he belonged to. Dammit.

But once again, Katsuki was froze to his spot. Helpless to watch Kontaru's back as it left him behind. His words echoing in his head. His questions that cut deep into him, left him bleeding and in pain. All alone in this classroom that they shared. The first one in years.


	13. Chapter 13: Battle

**Chapter 13: Battle Class Get's Real**

The next morning, I'm so exhausted, I just kind of slump into my chair. Yesterday was so taxing, both physically and emotionally. Honestly I'm not looking forward to another one. Since today we're going to be staring hero classes.

Sighing, I bury my face in my elbow and rub the back of my head. Scratching my scalp, looking for some relief. I don't have an itchy scalp or anything, it just feels good. When I was younger, my mom would lay my head in her lap and scratch my head when I was having a bad day. So yea, it's mostly a comfort thing.

Besides the whole thing with Kazu-tan, something else has been bothering me since yesterday. I can't remember what it is, but I know there's _something_. It's so irritating. Like a fly that's just within hearing range, but you can't find it, then destroy it. It's like that.

Huffing in annoyance, I look up in time to see Kazu-tan walk in, looking like annoyed. Like always. His default expression is a scowl, I swear. I look away, before our eyes can meet. I move my head to my nape as Kazu-tan sits down behind me. I can feel his eyes bore into me for a moment, before he tsks and looks away.

Shaking my head, I straighten up with a yawn. I got like four hours of sleep last night between finishing unpacking and putting together the apartment - let me tell you, I love my brother dearly, but hell he has so many large, hard covered books that it isn't even funny. Not to mention, once I got to go to bed, I wasted an hour of my available six tossing and turning - awake and trying to fall asleep. Until, I decide that a quick run, should tire my out enough to pass out. And it did. But you know, two am runs are so fun in late March.

Whatever. It happened. And it can't _unhappen_ , so best to just focus on the classes. And hope to God I don't pass out during them.

o0oo0o

I did, in fact, manage to stay awake. Though I did almost nod off once during fourth period. Kazu-tan flicked the back of my neck, so I didn't. And I stayed awake, with embarrassment outweighing my fatigue, for the rest of class and throughout lunch. But by now, everyone was awake and ready, because it was time for hero basic training!

"I HAVE...COME THROUGH THE DOOR LIKE NORMAL!" I can't deny the giddiness that coursed through me at seeing the number one hero in person. I sat straighter and leaned forwards towards him as he spoke.

"Hero Basic Training! The class that'll put you through all types of special training to mold into heros!" All Might booms, "No time to dally. Today's activity is this!" He reveals a card that has 'BATTLE' on it, excitement makes my heart pound. A smile spreading across my face. "BATTLE TRAINING!" I could feel Kazu-tan's almost homicidal-like enthusiasm and Izu-tan's nervous terror from behind me. It was amusing that we ended up getting seated like this.

"And for that... you need these!" There was a click, and shelves appeared from wall, holding cases with numbers on them. "In accordance with 'quirk registry' and the special forms you filled out before being admitted..."

"COSTUMES!" Some of the more excitable students called out, once All Might trailed off.

"Once you get changed, come out in ranking order to Ground Beta." He instructs before leaving. Since the cases were assigned by name, I got number 17, while Kazu-tan got 16 and Izu-tan has 18. We head off to the locker rooms and I look inside mine. Grinning at how well it was made.

o0oo0o

Katsuki felt weak when he saw Kontaru's costume. He was wearing black _leggings_ , with tall, dark red boots that had black laces. A black, long sleeve shirt acted like a second skin with a hood attached, that covered his eyes. There were two dark silver belts sitting crookedly on his hips, that brought Katsuki back to the bane of his existence.

Leggings. On Kontaru. Katsuki had to quickly look away for else he was going to do something he both would never regret and would regret for the rest of his life.

But on the plus side - where wasn't one? - the costume showed off, how healthy Kontaru has gotten. His muscles toned, but slender. And his bubble butt and full display thanks to the leggings.

God, Bakugo Katsuki was weak against the bubble butt that belonged to the one and only Tsujima Kontaru.

o0oo0o

Though I will never say it aloud, my knees wobbled just a little when I saw Katsuki in arm sleeves. No grenade gauntlets - which is so predictable - because they leave me with less arms to secretly ogle. What can I say, I like arms, and Katsuki has a very nice pair. They're even better then when we were dating.

Sighing, I look away as my arms cross against my chest, Izu-tan appearing as All Might started.

"It's time for battle training!" He boomed. "Shall we begin my students?" After a quick intro to indoor antipersonnel basic training, All Might explains how this is going to work.

In essence, we are going to be doin battles, where one team are the 'villains' and the other are the 'heros'. For the heros to will, they either need to capture the villains or the weapon before the time is up. For the villains to win, they either need to capture the heros or keep the weapon until the time is up. The times will be selected using lots, then All Might will randomly choose which teams will be the heros and the villains for each round.

The teams will be: Izu-tan and Uraraka (A), Todoroki and Shoji (B), Yaoyorozu and Mineta (C), Iida and Kazu-tan - I feel bad for Iida - (D), Mina and I (E), Koda and Sato (F), Jiro and Kaminari (G), Tsuyu and Tokoyami (H), Toru and Ojiro (I), and Kirishima and Sero (J).

And the first battle will be between A (heros) and D (villains). My stomach drops and suddenly this isn't fun anymore. Looking over to my two childhood friends, there is shock on their faces as well.

"The villain team will go in first, then the timer will begin five minutes later when the heros sneak in. The rest of us will be watching via CCTV." All Might explains before taking against the two teams. While everyone goes on ahead, I linger behind, waiting a chance to talk to Izu-tan. I see it when Kazu-tan and Iida go inside.

"Don't be reckless." I tell him softly, he looks up at me, even though I'm only 8 centimeters taller then him, and smiles warily.

"I'll try Kochan, but this is Kacchan. I don't think I'll have much of a choice." He points out with a helpless shrug.

"Good point." I sigh, as All Might calls my name. "See you soon, good luck Izu-tan." I half running to catch up with All Might, and chance a glance back at my best friend. He's talking to a girl. I smile a little. Besides his mom, rarely - if ever - talks to females. Let alone girls our age.

o0oo0o

We get to the viewing room in time for the match to start.

We watch in the dark room, as Izu-tan and Uraraka start scoping out the lay-out. Suddenly Bakugo is there, an explosion going off as they face each other. An explosion that, luckily, Izuku is able to get both himself and his partner out of the way of.

The sigh of relief that escapes me, was beyond my control. Though my body stayed tense as the battle continues. Katsuki throws his arm back, and whips it around and prepares to hook punch Izuku, when the small _grabs_ hold of the blond's arm and _flips_ him. My eyes widen as Katsuki is slammed into the ground. I think the person most shocked, is Katsuki.

As Katsuki stands up, Izuku starts talking. "Kacchan, you almost, always lead with that right hook. I've seen it enough times to know!" My eyes twitches in annoyance, "You see I've analyzed heros I think are awesome in that notebook of mine! The one you blew up and threw out the window!" Bakugo whips around, eyes wide and blazing with a fierce glare. Izuku takes up a trembling and stiff fighting stance.

"I'm not going to be your worthless punching bag Deku forever!" He states and pride swells in my chest. He's gaining self-confidence. "Kacchan I'm... I'm the Deku that does his best!" He declares and I grin stupidly. Stupidly proud of my amazing best friend.

"You spout all that crap, while scared out of your mind." Katsuki stands up, "It pisses me off!" I can already this is about to take a swan dive off of a cliff. _Dammit guys_.


	14. Chapter 14: Unexpected

**Chapter 14: More Power Than Expected**

"We give them blueprints to the building." I catch onto the end of All Might statement. Wrenching my attention over to the No. 1 hero, and away from my childhood friends' battle. "Also this is capture tape." He shows a disc of thick tape, "Tying this around your opponent is sufficient proof of capture." He explains.

"So they've only got 15 minutes, but the heros don't know where the weapon is located right?" My partner asks, getting a loud 'YES' as an answer. "The hero team is at a real disadvantage, huh." She points out, I silently nod in agreement. Not that she can see, I'm standing in the back, away from the others.

"It's like what Aizawa said. Say it with me!"

"PLUS ULTRA!" Their arms go up in the air as they scream the school motto. I just go back to watching the screens.

Surprisingly Izuku was keeping up with Katsuki. I relived beyond anything to see that Izuku isn't resorting to that self-destructive quirk of his. Instead, using his brain as a way to keep up with Katsuki's overwhelming bronze.

Then Izuku is running away, but I easily figure out that he's trying to buy himself some time to get a strategy together. All the while Katsuki taunts him. My fists clench and I feel my power swell within me as my ire raises.

Soon, Iida finds Uraraka. Many a few seconds after that Katsuki appears in the same hallway as Izuku. Biting down on my bottom lip, I worry it as the match continues. I'm usually pretty good at reading a situation and finding the most likely outcome, but this. I simply have no clue. By themselves, Izuku and Katsuki are hard to read. But together, especially now, I can't predict how's it going to go in the least.

But there are a couple things I can expect, like stupid recklessness and an completely unnecessary amount of violence. Even though I hope against it, someone - Izuku - is going to get hurt.

o0oo0o

"BAKUGO, YOU FUCKING IDOIT!" I scream into the mic All Might was holding, after Bakugo set off that massive explosion that destroyed half of the building. Why would the costume company think it's okay to give something with that much kick to a teenager. "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU AFTER THIS BAKUGO." There's a slight twitch, but its barely noticeable and he continues on as if he didn't hear me. I'm _so_ going down there to kick his ass.

I was stopped from interferring by All Might placing his large hand on my shoulder and shaking his head, when I gave him an irritated look. So with a growl that didn't quite sound human, I slam my fist into the computer board and stomp off into the corner, to cool down as I watch the rest of the match.

Seething. That's what I'm feeling. No it's something stronger. What's the word? Oh yea: _wrathful_.

With the way, I'm feeling, I'm not above murder.

o0oo0o

I. Am. Going. To. Kill. Both. Of. Them!

All Might holds me back, as I screech and fight back. Midoriya being hauled off to Recovery Girl as the rest came back.

"Let me go, old man! I have to fucking kill Bakugo! And Midoriya! Both of the fucking idiots!" I roar, slamming, my head back against his nose, I don't care about the amount of trouble I'm about to get in. In fact, I'm in not even thinking about it. Both of my arms burst into bright flames as All Might lets go. I spring board off of him and at Bakugo.

Hands spread out as Bakugo looks up at me, but before I could even touch me, let alone kill him, I'm covered in ice. My hands to far apart for me to transmute it into something useful, like a knife or something with a really sharp blade.

"Calm down Tsujima. This isn't the time for murder. If you're incessant, then please wait until after class. There are other matches that need to get done." I stare at Todoroki for a solid minute, before taking a deep breath - well as big as the ice allowed me. I light my fire again and quickly melt away the ice with Todoroki's help. I look at Bakugo, who didn't dare look at me.

"Look at me." I order, and he does as told. "We aren't finished yet." I warn and turn away. Following Todoroki back into the crowd. If I go crazy again, then I'll need him to ice me up again... wait.

Todoroki, ice quirk. Hold up a second... No way.

I open my mouth to ask, but it's his and Shoji's turn to face off against Hagakure and Ojiro. The B team were the heros, while the I team were the villains. The match is over within a minute. With Todoroki freezing the entire building over within a few seconds and quickly securing the weapon, no injuries were acquired. He then unfreezes it, almost as quickly.

That also reminds me, Todoroki is the no. 2 recommended first year. Makes sense.

The matches continue and mine and Mina's is the last one. My anger comes back, not as strong, but it does and I order Mina back as my hands clap together and slam against the wall of the building - we got to be the heros - and lightning makes arcs around the building as it changes from cement to wood. Very thin wood, no glass and very flammable.

I grin manically as I walk in. Kicking out one of the main support beams - I saw it on the blue print - nothing happened. So I moved up a flight and set a small fire. My eyes light up as it easily takes to the wood. I go up another flight and Sato comes around the corner.

I clap my hands and pressed them to the floor, a huge hole appears and the large male drops through. All the way down to the first level. Cackling, I continue on, leaving destruction behind me as I went, until I found the weapon and Koda. Who was looking scared out of his mind.

My grin widens and he whimpers. "Leave now or regret it." He stood his ground, and I gave him props for it. But it didn't deter me at all. Clapping my hands together, I take a page out of Todoroki's book and freeze the entire building over. Including the fires and people. Except their faces, because that's cruel.

My hot breath leaves a puff of white against the chilly air as I walk past Koda and touch the weapon. Heros win. And I change everything back to the state it was, before the match.

I walk out of that building, feeling even more exhausted then before. Yet my anger was sated for the moment, and was not in dire need to have the blood of my childhood playmates. So I sigh, content for right now, as All Might gathered us up and gave the outro for the class. I glance at Bakugo and see him standing stiff as a board as his bangs cast shadows over his eyes.

Thinking about it, I'm too exhausted to talk to him today. Besides I need to talk to Todoroki about my suspicion.

o0oo0o

"Todoroki, I need to talk to you." I state walking up to him after we all finish changing. He looks up at me, with impassive eyes. I point towards the door, his eyes narrow, before he stands up and follows me outside the classroom.

"Is this about earlier?" He asks, implying when he iced me. I shake my head. I mean, it did kind of. But not really

"Is your mother's name Todoroki Rei?" I inquire and he suddenly shuts down, going completely going on the defense.

"What of it?"

"She has an ice quirk, right?" By the way he pauses, I know I'm right. "You're dad the world's worst dad and biggest asshole." I state and he just stares at me. Sacristy breathing, as his narrowed eyes take in my every movement.

"My father is Tsujima Ryuusuke. Her big brother. He can freeze anything he touches. He has pale grey hair and dark grey eyes. Like that right side of yours."

"Are you saying that we're..."

"Cousins. Yes." I finished his quiet sentence. "Endeavor never allowed, my dad to visit my aunt, even when she was put in the mental hospital." The confession, seemed to shock Todoroki out of his suspicion.

"No one knows." He says, in disbelief.

"Except family. My dad was talking about it before I moved back here with my big brother, Keinosuke." I tell him, and he almost looks scared. "He told me that my Aunt Rei was living in a mental hospital, in a town close to Masutafu. And if I ever want to, to go visit her."

"Do you know why, my father put her in there?" Todoroki looks at me, his mismatched eyes intense and filled with hate.

"I don't know the details, but I have an educated guess." He doesn't blink and he doesn't look away from me. And then he told me, and I felt hate flare up in my as well. Why would you do that to a child. Your own child, nonetheless. He may be the no.2 hero, but Endeavor is one of the worst people I can think of.

"Would you like to meet Keinosuke?" I offer after a moment of silence. He looks at me confused and curious. This new subject, taking his mind off of the previous one. "You've been isolated from this part of your family, long enough. Why not get to know us. There's a quiet, little noodle house close to our apartment, that has some amazing soba." I explain and see his eyes light up a little at the mention of soba.

"How did you know, I liked soba?" He inquires and I cock a brow in amusement.

"You too? Keinosuke would live off of soba, if he was allowed." Chuckling, I see a small smile tug on Todoroki's lips. I place my hand on his shoulder, completely serious. "Ever need a place to go, don't be a stranger. Now that I know we're family, I'm not letting you be alone again." His eyes gloss over with tears for a moment, before it was gone, gratitude replacing them.

"Thank you." I smile at him, bringing him into an one-armed hug.

"It's what you do for family." He looks hesitant, but it's okay. "Also thank you from stopping me kill Bakugo. I really might've done it too." I chuckle and he shrugs, amusement twinkling in his mismatched eyes.

"Figured as much." Chuckling, I release Todoroki and start for the class. "Come on, school hasn't ended yet." He follows me back into the class. Now that's off my checklist. It's still pretty full though. Ugh. At least, my room will be ready for me to crash in, when I get home. That's honestly, my favorite part of the day.


	15. Chapter 15: Chaotic

**Chapter 15: Of Children And Chaos**

The next day, I slept through my alarm, but I have the world's best big brother, so he woke me up and made us breakfast while I took a quick, cold shower to wake up. It worked wonders since I accidentally put it on the coldest setting. I'll admit, I let out a pretty high-pitched scream when the ice cold water hit my warm, barely conscious body.

With only a pair of sweats that are probably Keinosuke's, I'm inhaling the wonderful food my lovely brother has made for us. Good thing he can cook, because I suck hard at anything related to cooking. One time, I accidentally set a napkin on fire trying to boil water - that was a couple months ago... yea, I'm not allowed into the kitchen except to clean it. I'm okay with that.

Anyway, once I'm done with breakfast, I promise to clean the dishes after school and rush into my room at the end of the hallway. Quickly changing into my school uniform, I go to the toilet room to handle my silver hair. I take one look in the mirror and wish I had Dad's flatter hair. My hair was having a really bad day, and was explosively pouffy. Running a hand over my face, I sigh and grab the black bandana I used when we were unpacking, and wrap that tightly around my head. It was better, much better. Thank God for the small mercies.

Now that crisis has been avoided, I brush my teeth as Keinosuke calls out. Saying he's leaving. I spit out the toothpaste in my mouth call back, wishing him safe travels. There's laughter and thanks as the door opens, then closes. Sighing, I feel the effects of the cold shower starting to wear off. Washing my mouth out with mouthwash, I also spit that out, before rinsing down the sink and leave.

Grabbing my bag, I slip on my shoes and head out. By the time I get to the train station, I'm yawning so much, there are tears swelling up in my eyes. I step on to my train and stand by the correct doors, hand holding on to the pole at the end of the seats. Other hand covering my wide mouth as I yawn again. I wipe away the tears of exhaustion and look out the window as the scenery flies by.

20 minutes later, the train slows to a stop and I step off, just in time to see Todoroki go into the train station. My eyes widen and run to catch up. Forgetting my exhaustion, momentarily to mischief. As I throw myself on to his back, I realize that Izuku is just ahead of us, walking with Iida and Uraraka. I smile, happy to see Izuku make some friends. Not remembering yesterday's events do to exhaustion.

"Tsujima?" Todoroki asks looking at me as I latch on to him. I grin at him, exhaustion making it look weak and my eyes dead. "Are you okay?" He asks as he continues forward, neither of us caring for the looks we got.

Resting my cheek on the top of his head, I close my eyes. "No. I've been getting about half the amount of sleep I need for the past week. And yesterday, I did a lot of big transmutations so I feel like absolute shit right now. Not to mention my hair." I groan at just the thought. "I wish I had your flatter hair. But I got my mom's side, when it comes to hair. All thick and spiky." I feel him nod as we go up stairs. I whine a little when he sets me down on a bench.

Opening my eyes, I see him over at a vending machine. Thinking nothing of it, my eyes close again. Remaining like that until something cold is pressed to my cheek. I wretch my head away, my eyes opening and quickly located the offending chilly object. It was a cold brew coffee. Todoroki was offering me coffee. Bless him.

"Looks like you need it." He says, putting his hands in his pockets as I smile thankfully up at him.

"Thank you. How much do I owe you?" I ask, placing my coffee between my legs as I start digging for my wallet. But Todoroki waves it off and I'm too tired to fight him, so I give him a hug instead and follow him the rest of the way to school. Sipping on the life-giving liquid as known as coffee the whole way there. But besides my little sighs of exhausted happiness, it stayed quiet between us. Which I was totally okay with, because I do not have that much brain power yet.

o0oo0o

"Good work with yesterday's battle training." Aizawa-sensei starts, standing in front of the class, a stack of papers in his hand. "I've looked over your grades and evaluations." He turn his eyes to Bakugo, "Bakugo, grow up already." Good thing, I half alive, because if I was fully awake for this, then I would never have stopped laughing. "Stop wasting my talent." Instead, I can only grin a little.

"...Got it." I hear him mutter, and raise a brow to myself. Maybe yesterday was a wake up call that he isn't the only powerful one here.

"And... Midoriya. It seems you have ended yet another day with a broken arm." Yet _another_? "Learn to control your quirk. Because just trying isn't going to cut it. I hate repeating myself, but you do have potential. If you can overcome this Midoriya." I smile softly, placing my cheek in my palm. My pride in Izu-tan overcoming my anger with him for constantly putting himself in the nurse's office. For right now, at least.

"Okay."

"Now on to homeroom business... Sorry for such a sudden announcement, but you'll be picking a class president." The class as a whole let out a sigh in relief that it was normal school thing and not a brutal pop quiz. Just the thought of one, causes me to shiver in fear.

Everyone raises their hands, once the relief passes, and I do mean everybody raised their hands. Even quiet Koda raised his. The reason behind this, is because while being a class president in a normal school, is mundane and boring; in hero course classes, it's an opportunity to be a leader and show off your ability to handle large groups of people. A necessary trait for a top hero.

"Quiet everyone!" I look over Iida and see that he is even more serious than normal. "Leading the many, is a heavy responsibility." Pff. _Leading the many?_ "But ambition does not equate to ability." Who says equate anymore? "This sacred office demands the trust of its constituents... If this is to be democracy then I put forward the motion of our true leader be chosen through election." He was trembling as he stuck his hand straight up into the air.

"This is a classroom! Not Congress!"

"But Iida, we haven't known each other long enough to build any trust." Tsuyu points outs.

"And everyone'll will just vote for themselves!" Kirishima adds on, loudly.

"Precisely. That's why anyone who manages to earn multiple votes will be the best-suited individual for the position!" Iida explains, and I quietly nod in agreement. He would be a really good diplomat. On the other hand, maybe not, he's too intense. I think.

"Will you allow this Sensei?" Iida turns to Aizawa-sensei as he zips himself up in his yellow sleeping bag.

"I don't care. Just be quick about it." He answers, settling into the corner, and falling asleep. I wish I could join him. God I felt like my eye lids were made of lead. As I struggle to stay awake, even after that coffee Todoroki so graciously bought for me, the votes are casted and tallied up.

Surprisingly it was Izu-tan that got the most votes (3), while Yaoyorozu got second place (2). I didn't get any, but that's because I used mine on Iida. He's a little on the too serious side, but his intentions are good and he's willing to go that extra mile to get things done the most efficient way.

And as always Bakugo was throwing a little hissy fit. "What the - Who the hell voted for Deku?"

"At least two people less conceited than you." He twitches before rounding on me as I roll my eyes. He slammed his hand against my desk and instantly Iida was on him, with something about disrespecting this great institute's desks.

I just don't have the energy to give a flying fuck about it. So I grin up at Bakugo, an evil aura surrounding me as my eyes promise murder if you don't tread carefully. Bakugo rarely treads carefully, despite how smart he is. He did get number four on the entrance exams. I got number three. I could've pushed for number one, but I was moving, and only had so much time to study.

"Fine. So you're president is Midoriya and your vice president is Yaoyorozu." Aizawa says as he unzips himself from his blanket. Izu-tan was trembling as he stood up there with Yaoyorozu. Then that was it, and pretty soon it was lunch time. I could smell the amazing food - and more coffee - that awaited me. But I wanted to catch up with Todoroki.

So as we exited the class, I grabbed on to his hand and didn't let go as we went through the line to get food.

"I'm not going to walk away. You can let go of my hand." My cousin - that sounds a little funny in my head - points out and I shrug, letting go as I get a big bowl of white rice.

"Just a precaution. You easily disappear into the crowd, because you're really quiet." I explain as I pay for my lunch of rice, sashimi, shrimp tempura with a side of miso soup and edamame. Todoroki shrugs, paying for his soba. We go find a spot to sit down at, but I quickly excuse myself, to go buy more coffee.

You know what really pisses me off - besides my childhood playmates trying to kill each other - is having to get out of my seat the second, I sit down. It has to be my biggest pet peeve ever, since forever. I can't remember a time when I was any way, shape or form okay with it.

So when an alarm went off, as I sat down, coffee in hand, I continued to stayed seated. Even as the order came to evacuate, I stayed put, because fuck it. I want to eat. And I want my coffee. So dammit all, I going to eat and have my coffee.

Todoroki had to haul me over his shoulder and head from the exits, because I refused to be moved. It was a little embarrassing, but luckily everyone else was too swept up in the chaos to notice. So my pride was saved from most of the suffering. At least I still had my coffee can with me.

Though there was one person who wasn't completely swept up in the chaos and that was Iida. I heard him, before I saw him. Then again, I was _still_ on Todoroki's shoulder. But I twisted myself around enough to se him, above the exit sign, looking both ridiculous and cool, booming that it was okay. It was only the press.

The chaos died down instantly and everyone started to head back to their seats. I poke Todoroki's cheek, with a small frown. "Will you put me down now?" And he did.

o0oo0o

After the chaotic cafeteria incident, Izu-tan stepped down from being class president and named Iida his successor. No one - probably - had any problems with this. I smile and stick my hand out for a high five as he returns to his seat. Iida accepted and that's how Iida became class president.


	16. Chapter 16: Flashy

**Chapter 16: Anything Can Be Flipped On Its Head**

Wednesday, after lunch, it's time for hero basics training. I wonder what we'll be doing today.

Aizawa-sensei comes in as the bell rings. Diving right in, no pleasantries as usual.

"Now for hero basics training. This time All Might, myself and one other will supervise." He starts before Sero jumped in, hand raised high.

"Um, what exactly are we doing?" He asks.

"Preparing you for disaster relief, from fires to floods." He whips out a card that says 'RECUSE' on it. "It's recuse training." The students start talking about it among themselves, before being quickly shut up by Aizawa-sensei.

"It's up to you whether or not you wear you're costumes. As some of them are ill-suited to this sort of activity." The pro-hero clicks a button and the shelves with our costumes appear. "The training site is a bit remote, so we'll be traveling by bus. That's all. Get ready." He finishes and leaves. I get my case and head towards the locker room.

I'm not going to change my costume as, it's already built to withstand high and low temperatures, while also being extremely durable and comfortable. I touch my bandana - which I have deiced to add to my normal outfit - and debate, whether or not I'm going to still want it, when I put my hood up. After a moment, decide yes. But I take it off and wrap it around my left wrist, before pulling my hood up and going over to Todoroki.

He looks up at me from where he was sitting on the bench, pulling on his boots. "You gonna sleep on the way there?" I ask, cause if he's planning on it, then I'll leave him alone. But if not, then I'll next to him.

"Yes. Are you?" I shake my head. If Bakugo is going to be there, then it won't stay quiet for long. If it'll even begin that way. He stands up and we head out with the rest of class to the bus. I ignore the heavy eyes on me, the entire way there.

We load on to the bus smoothly enough. I sit in between Kaminari and Mina, with Tsuyu across from me and Izu-tan sitting between her and Sato. I watch the scenery go by, while watching both Bakugo and Todoroki, the class talking about something quirk related - when aren't they - when I hear my name.

"Wanna talk strong and cool? That's Todoroki, Tsujima and Bakugo." I look over to the blond beside me, surprised. Well not about the observation - because I know how strong I've gotten - but by the fact it was Kaminari that pointed it out first. He's smarter than he looks.

"But Bakugo is so unhinged, he'll never be popular." I chuckle as Kazu-tan explodes at Tsuyu. He turns blazing eyes towards me, mine narrow. A dangerous smile on my lips.

"Keep laughing and see what happens." His hisses and I lean forward.

"Wanna test that Ka-zu-ta-n?" I sound out his name, my smile widening when he snarls at me. Sitting back down and looking away.

"What's with you and Bakugo? It's like you have a leash on him." Tsuyu asks as I lean back. Instantly memories flash before my eyes of times Katsuki had his hands on me. We never went all the way - we were too young. But it did get a little hot and heavy a couple times.

"I've been able to shut him up a couple times before. It's not a big deal. Besides he knows not to mess with me." I turn a sharp look at the blond in question. He continues to look out the window, but I noticed the tension in his shoulders. "Ain't that right Katsuki?" He doesn't answer and I chuckle.

"That's another thing. You call him by three names, why?" Mina asks the question this time. But its Kazu-tan that answers.

"It's Kazu-tan, if he's in a good mood or mischievous. Katsuki when serious. And Bakugo when he's pissed." He grunts and I raise a brow.

"You pay attention Kazu-tan." I compliment and he huffs. Eyes glancing at me, and meeting mine for a spilt second, before their glued back to the window. He doesn't reply, but I know his answer anyway. So does Izu-tan. He looks nervously between us, before Aizawa-sensei reveals that we've arrived.

o0oo0o

"Flood zone. Land slide zone. Conflagration zone etc. Anything disaster you can imagine. I built this facility myself. I call it... the 'Unforeseen Simulation Joint'." It was the Space Hero Thirteen that spoke. A gentlemanly hero that does his best work in recuse situations. So it seems he was that one other. But where is All Might. Is he showing up later.

"So be it. Let's get started." Aizawa-sensei grumbles. But Thirteen speaks up.

"Before we begin, I have one or two points..." He starts counting them on his finger. "... three.. four..." _Lots of points_. "AS many of you are aware, my quirk is Black Hole. I can suck in and tear anything apart." He starts.

"And you've used it to save countless people from all sorts of disasters." Izu-tan jumps in like the overactive nerd he is. I smile, and ruffle his hair. He grins up as Thirteen continues. Our focus instantly shifting back to the pro-hero.

"Indeed..." He starts slowly, and I have a bad feeling about his next words. "However my power could easily kill. I've no doubt there are some among you with similar abilities." I couldn't control my knee-jerk reaction to look at Katsuki. I don't know why, but I was scared. Those words scared me. And now I looked towards Katsuki. His eyes meet mine, before I can look away and back to Thirteen.

"In our super-powered society, quirks are heavily restricted and monitored. It may seem like this system is a stable one. But we must never forget that it only takes one wrong one with an uncontrollable quirk for people to _die_." He warns and the moment of the crash flashed before my eyes. I feel the air rush out of me, leaving me trembling.

"During Aizawa's physical test you learned your hidden potential. And with All Might's battle training, you experienced the danger your respective quirks pose to others." I grab on to the back on Izuku's shirt with one hand and lay my head on his shoulder.

He stiffens up as I gain back my equilibrium. Eyes closed against the spinning world. Lungs trying to slowly, but surely, regain their lost air. This isn't the first time, I've been on the edge of a panic attack. But it's been over a year, since I've had one.

"Stay still. Don't make it an issue. Please." I whisper to him and he slowly nods, before reaching behind and grabbing my free hand and gives it a gentle squeeze. I let out a breath that might be laughter, and give his hand a gentle squeeze back.

"This class will show you a new perspective." Thirteen almost chirps and I'm grateful for the change in mood. "You will learn how to utilize your quirks to save lives. Your powers were not meant to inflict harm. I hope you leave here today with the understanding that you're meant to _help_ people. That is all! Thank you for listening." He finishes off with a bow as I sigh and straighten up. The hand holding his shirt, lets go. But I still hold tight to Izuku's hand. I was stable for now. Mostly.

"Great. First off..." Aizawa-sensei trails off, looking at something beyond the railing. "Huddle up and don't move." Instantly I was pulling Izuku closer, my eyes quickly located Katsuki and Shoto. Once secure in the knowledge of their locations, I'm focusing on Aizawa-sensei. "Thirteen, protect the students."

"What are those? More battle robots? Like from the entrance exams?" Kirishima asked, looking at the gathering forces below us. These were the farthest thing from robots.

"Don't move! Those are... villains!" It was shock first that rippled through the group, before fear took over.

There were dozens of them. Dozens of villains. And more of them continued to appear out of the black mass, that I could only assume is a villain itself, that was projecting their quirk. But even when I felt the panic start creeping up there was only thing thought that ran through my mind, before it went blank.

 _Why did I believe I could make it through the day without coffee?_


	17. Chapter 17: Focus

**Chapter 17: Odd Memories Appear At Odd Times**

 _It was Valentine's Day, and unfortunately for me, Tsujima Kontaru, my boyfriend, Bakugo Katsuki, was one of the most popular boys at school. So all throughout the day, I would stumble across my boyfriend being confessed to and asked to accept way too many girls' chocolates._

 _The only condolence I received, was that Katsuki would shut them down before they could get half way through their nervous speech. It still irritated me though. But there was one thing that pissed me off more and it happened at the end of the school day._

 _A second year girl, a very popular and pretty one at that, came up to Katsuki when we were at our shoe lockers - they were organized by first name, so ours were really close to each other. She stood confidently as she called out to Bakugo. I rolled my eyes to hard, it almost hurt._

 _"Bakugo, you should be my boyfriend." There wasn't a person in the area that didn't hear her and I clench my jaw against the bitter jealously that burned hot in my chest. It takes everything in me to not slam my locker door close as I slip on my high tops._

 _"No. I shouldn't." Katsuki replied, not evening looking at her as he put on his shoes. He sounded bored and slightly irritated._

 _"Why is that?" She sounded confident, overly so. Like there wasn't a doubt in her pretty little mind, that Katsuki wouldn't agree to be 'her' boyfriend. I hide my snarl in my scarf as lean against the lockers, waiting for Izu-tan. But I really wanted to scream at the second year, that Katsuki is mine. Then kiss him like no tomorrow in front of everyone, so no one got the idea to ever try to go after him again._

 _Damn. I need to get better with my jealously._

 _"Because I don't want to." He deadpanned, and I grinned a little as he turned and walked away from the girl's shell-shocked face. His eyes met mine for a second, their intensity caused me to shiver. My hands clenching inside my pockets, Izu-tan rounded the corner after Katsuki left._

 _"Looks like you made it through in one piece." Izu-tan notes as we leave, the February air, cool and crisp in my lungs._

 _"Barely. There were times, I was tempted to out us." I confess. I told Izu-tan a week after we got together because of two reasons. 1) Izu-tan is my best friend and is able to read me like a book. And 2) I don't like keeping secrets from Izuku. I've already told him about my odd coma experience, and he hasn't told anyone. So I'm pretty sure he can keep Katsuki and I's relationship, secret._

 _"But you didn't. That's impressive." He smiles at me, and I smile back as my phone goes off. I take out and flip open my phone and see I received a text from Katsuki. Opening it, I shake my head in amusement after reading it._

 _"Sorry Izu-tan -"_

 _"Just go. I'll be fine." He interrupts, giving me a little push. I frown a little, but the smiles and I sigh, giving in._

 _"Okay, but just call me, if something happens." I instruct and I see the conflicted emotions in his eyes. Letting it go, I wave at Izu-tan, before going ahead. Glancing down at the text I smile._

 _From: Katsuki_

 _\- Get over here so I can go dinner shopping for your picky ass._

 _He may not be the most ideal boyfriend ever, but Katsuki has his moments. He knows I love it when he cooks for me. So this was definitely one of them._

o0oo0o

It's funny how random memories will appear right before a bad decision. Or more precisely, when someone you care about makes a bad decision. Like a really bad one. Well I had one of those when I saw Katsuki and Kirishima try to attack the villain. Like the absolute idiots that they are.

Then the black smoke started to envelope us, I try to push Izuku towards the middle, but I'm being sucked into the void and my grasp on Izuku is gone as I try to shield myself from the attack. But when nothing happens, I open my eyes and lower my arms. I'm in the landslide zone. Looking around, I see Todoroki, already fighting villains.

Shaking my head, I stand up and go aid him. Though I doubt he needs it. That doesn't mean I'll let him get all the fun though. Besides, it'll be a good distraction.

o0oo0o

It's almost embarrassing how weak these villains are. From what I can tell, there are only 3 or 4 that we might need to seriously worry about. All of the 'villains' that had come at us were either covered in ice or wrapped in thorny vines. Sighing, watch as Todoroki gets this serious brooding face as he walks up to a villain.

Heading over his way, I get into earshot of his conversation with the thugs.

"At this rate, your skin'll rot off from frostbite." Oh yea, that's right. Frostbite does that. "But I'm trying to become a hero. And heros don't do such horrible things." I come to stand besides a sitting Todoroki. His mismatched eyes glance up at me, before focusing on the frosted thug. "What makes you can kill All Might? Tell me the plan."

I grin a little, before clapping my hands together and holding out my right hand, a tangle of ice vines raising up out of the ice covered ground, stretching towards my hand. "I suggest you tell him, or else lack of skin will be the least of your worries."

o0oo0o

 _BOOM!_

Looking up, there's All Might. Booming his famous catch line. Relief flooded my system at the sight, but then I noticed something. He wasn't smiling. And that just worried me. But I kept pace with Todoroki as we quickly make our way out of the landslide zone.

We just reached the edge as All Might starts fighting that huge brain beast. I think I over heard it being called Nomu, or something. My heart drops a little as his attacks don't do anything to the Nomu. And when he tried to slam the Nomu through the ground, only for a warp gate to open beneath Nomu. It's other end, opening underneath All Might, allowing the monster to sink it's claws into All Might's side.

But then Izuku - like the total idiot he is - comes running in, head first without a plan or stable quirk. Kurogiri - the warping guy - gets in front of him, opening a gate that will most definitely lead Izuku to his demise. With Izuku running right into it, until Katsuki is there and taking down Kurogiri.

"Get the hell outta here Deku!" I felt something twist in my gut as Katsuki slams the villain to the ground as Todoroki freezes Nomu down the middle, while Kirishima attacks the guy with all of the hands and I sprint over to All Might.

He stares at me, his hands clenching the clawed hand that gripped his side so tightly he bled. I'm going to lie when I say, my hands shook a little when they clapped together and pressed to the monsters hand. Changing the graphene into bismuth in the beast's body, to make it more brittle, while making the carbon as thin as I can. Which is decreased by 50%, pretty good, since his skin was harder than diamonds.

Pulling back I go to help, but he's freed himself and is pulling me with him back over to the others.

"Scum like you, could never kill the Symbol of Peace." Todoroki states as I stand by him, Izuku standing partially behind me. If we weren't in this situation, I would be chewing him out from here to Timbuktu. But we are in our situation, so I can't. I so will though, after we get our asses out of this. Not to mention the tongue thrashing, I need to give him for the first hero class, a couple days ago. I've been busy, in my defense.

"You've pinned down, our only way out... Well... This is a problem..." This freaky hand dude sounds like someone just told him some bland ass news at the wrong time, and he's just mildly annoyed. Which, of course, annoys me. Because I hate these types of people.

"You slipped up, you bastard! And its just like what I thought." See, I don't have a problem with _what's_ being said, but with _how_ its being said. And Bakugo sounds like the total ass he is about 98 percent of the time. "The parts you can turn into that foggy warp gate are limited! And you're using that misty crap to hide you're real body, am I right?" He smirked. I stop and think about it, and realize, Katsuki has gotten sharper in his observation skills.

"If you're whole body was mist and physical attacks didn't work on you. Then you wouldn't have said 'That was a close one'." He finishes and I grin a little at Katsuki. I had to give him some acknowledgement for that seeing and using that tiny ass detail.

Kurogiri makes a sound of distress, trying to get up, before Katsuki smirks manically. Getting real close and threatening him. "If I decide you're doing anything fishy... I'll blow you straight to kingdom come." I nearly laugh at Kirishima's response.

"That's not very hero-like dude..." I release a slow breath to counteract the laughter that bubbled up and wanted to slip over my lips.

"Not only have you beaten our level, but you're at full health." Why is he speaking, as if this were a video game? "Today's kids really are something... Our league of villains should be ashamed..." This kind of talking is creeping me out more then the fact that his guy has like 14 hands on him. "Nomu. Take out the explosive brat. We need our escape route back." The freaky hand guy orders.

Then the frostbite monster, stands up, out of the warp gate. And has half of his limbs broken off by the inflexible ice.

"His body is falling apart. But he's still moving...?" The first thing that pops into my mind after Izuku's statement is: 'This dude must need some Plus Ultra level healing, if he's planning on living through that.' And it looks like I was right. Because Nomu wasn't a one-shock-absorbing-trick pony show.

"This is hyper-regeneration." Freaky hand guy explains as Nomu grows back an arm and a leg. "Nomu is a super-powered sand bag, built to withstand everything you've got." He goats as Nomu runs at Katsuki, with his skin still growing back.

Nomu is _fast_. And has set something flying, but that something wasn't Katsuki, as he was still atop of Kurogiri. It only takes me a moment, to understand that All Might took that hit for Katsuki. And the blow back of it is almost enough to knock me to the ground. I really had to brace myself and keep low.

I saw Katsuki's face just after the impact, and it was almost like the moment I woke up. There was that utter surprise in them, but it was different, because it lacked the other emotions in those wild red eyes.

Shit. I need to learn to focus. And not let random memories pop up at the worst possible times. It's so hard to manage though. God, I need to get my priorities straight - we're in a very serious situation. I need to focus. But damn, that's hard.


	18. Chapter 18: Reckless

**Chapter 18: Dancing With Devils**

"Anything to save a comrade, right." Freaky hand guy says, and I notice that they have now have Kurogiri. "Just like earlier when uh.. that one... The plain one. He came at me with everything he had." I standing, and felt my ire raise higher with each word that left the villain. The only thing that kept me in my spot was Todoroki tightly gripping my shoulder.

"But violence in the name of saving others is admirable. Isn't it, hero?" His tone changed to one of mockery and hidden spite. "You know what All Might? That pisses me off. Heros and villains both thrive off of violence, but we're still categorized. 'You're good.', 'You're evil.' That's how it is!"

"Symbol of Peace? Hah!" He mocks, and I feel mu shoulder getting colder as both of our anger rose. "You're just a tool for violence, made keep us down. And violence only breeds more violence. I'll show your world that by killing you." Freaky hand guy swears.

"What a load of hooey. Idealistic criminals have a sort of different fire in their eyes." All Might says as Izuku and Katsuki stand up. "But you're just enjoying yourself, you big liar."

"You got me. Saw right through..." Freaky hand guy sneered.

"It's three on six." Todoroki points out, releasing my shoulder. I shrug off the collecting ice and brace myself for the fight.

"But Kacchan showed us the mist man's weak point." I whirl on Izuku.

"Oh hell no. You're not fighting. Not with that unstable quirk of yours." I hissed through clenched teeth. If I need to, I will beat some self-preservation into my childhood best friend.

"These are some brutal dudes, but with us supporting All Might... we can beat 'em back." Why does it feel like, my words fell upon deaf ears.

"NO!" All Might booms, his arm out in a protective manner. "Get out of here!" He orders, standing in front of us.

"Things wouldn't have gone so well, if I hadn't just stepped in." Todoroki points out, flexing his right hand.

"All Might, you're bleeding." Izuku worries, face painted in concern. "And I think your time is u-..." He cuts himself off and my eyes narrow at him. What's this about a limited time? And does it have to do with All Might or this situation?

"Right you are Todoroki! So thanks for that!" He talks right over Izuku, glancing back at us. "But fear not! Sit back and watch a pro get serious!" So was he messing around earlier? It isn't very professional to underestimate an unknown enemy. Isn't that a rookie mistake?

"Nomu. Kurogiri. Take him." Freaky hand guy orders. "I'll handle the kids." Then he was running at us. "Let's clear the game and go home." He states, hands ready and running lower to the ground.

"Get ready guys, he's coming!" But then All Might is charging towards him. He's fist slamming into Nomu's as he protects Freaky hand guy, while he leaps backwards. The next series of events that unfold, show how just far up the top is in the world of heros. All Might sends Nomu _flying_ , through USJ's ceiling. It's incredible and awe-inspiring. Then he turned his attention towards Freaky hand guy and Kurogiri as we watch from a distance.

It was faint, but I think I heard Kurogiri call Freaky Hand Guy, Tomura Shigaraki.

They seemed to be talking, as Shigaraki seemed to become more and more frustrated, boarding on hysteria. Before suddenly going still, leaning over as Todoroki touches my arm. I look over to him and realize they were talking. We're going to fall back, and let All Might deal with it.

But the decision, just didn't sit well in my gut. Apparently, it didn't sit well with Izuku either, as his eyes were glued to the still fight.

I reach out to grab Izuku as Kurogiri and Shigaraki launch themselves at All Might. They were in front of him faster than the blink of an eye. And within that some moment, Izuku was rocketing off as well, going to the pro-hero's defense. My heart _stops_ , as Shigaraki reaches through Kurogiri and goes for Midoriya's head.

I'm dropping to my knees as a bullet is stopping Shigaraki's hand, my hands slam down to the ground. A thick cement wall is put up between them as my heart stutters back into motion. Then I'm off running towards Izuku, tears half choking me, as too many alternatives flash before my eyes.

"God-dammit Izuku." I choke out as I fall besides his body, the wall falling as the villains back off. I notice, half aware of my surroundings, that the other pro-heros have arrived. Izuku is alive, that's my main focus, before the sounds of gunshots are heard. Bullets raining down on the villains.

Looking up in time, my body reacts as Kurogiri tries to warp them away. Hands pressed to the ground, I summon up cement vines to wrap around them before they could escape. But it seems they were just a bit faster in their get-away; leaving my vines tangling around each other and empty air.

Deflating I attend to my suicidal best friend. Chewing him out as I made a make-shift split for his broken leg, using some light-weight, yet strong wood I made and his pant leg. The one that I tore away to look at his broken leg. If a couple tears slid down my face as I yelled at Midoriya for being so reckless and trying to give me a heart attack, then he said nothing of it.

Once he was settled, I stood up, with him in my arms, tears stuffed down for the moment as I headed back to the group. But if I had looked back then, at All Might, his biggest secret would've been revealed. Good thing I didn't, I was too wrapped up in my own emotions and Izuku's health.

o0oo0o

I sitting off to the side as the police arrive, my knees up and head hanging in between. When one of them asked if I was okay, I just waved them off. Sighing, I pull down my hood and run my hand through my messy silver hair. Cheek leaning against my knee, as my eyes keep back tears. This class has been one hell of an emotional roller coaster.

I hear foot steps approach me, before stopping. Opening my eyes, I see black boots with no laces. I raise my head and see Katsuki. He looked down at me with a blank face and no pity. I close my eyes against the sudden tears; and keep them closed until the feeling passes. When my eyes open again, Katsuki's bare hand is stretched out to me.

Sniffling a little, I reach up and take it. He pulls me up and I lean into the tug. Allowing myself to hug him around the neck. He stiffens as his hands hover around my waist.

"One day, you and Izuku are going to be the death of me." I breath into his ear, as his hands tentatively hold my waist. I pull back and smile tiredly at him, before pulling away completely and heading over to where Todoroki was watching me from. I could feel the words Katsuki wanted to say, just hang there at the tip of his tongue. But he never uttered a sound, so I left him be.

"What was that?" He asks and I outright ignore his question.

"After this is over. We need to go to that noodle house, by my place. Your treat." I say as I stretch out my back. Sighing when it cracked in several places.

"Why do I have to pay?" Todoroki asked and I grin a little at him.

"Because, you're loaded and I'm revealing Japan's best noodle house to you." I shoot back and he thinks about it a moment, before shrugging in defeat. My grin falls and I lean against him. Bone exhausted. "But before that, we need to get some extra-strength coffee." My legs were trembling with the effort it took to support my weight, but I didn't want to hinder anyone. So I sucked it up and ignored the weakness of my body.

Just like, how I ignore the heavy weight, a pair of eyes, put on me.


	19. Chapter 19: Family

**Chapter 19: Comfort, Questions And Keinosuke**

After the attack at USJ, the next day we were given off. Afterwards, Todoroki came with me to my house and stayed the night. We were both worn, and my cousin probably doesn't want to be around my uncle right now. I understood and didn't push. Just like he didn't push about me and Katsuki.

So we took showers and I leant him some of my clothes, since we were just about the same size. We did any homework we had and munched on snacks, that I managed to find, until Keinosuke came home later, just before sunset. He was all panicked, and tripped over himself getting into the door, I left my spot at the coffee table to go help him as Todoroki watched.

Before I could utter a word though, I was wrapped up in his arms and he was half squeezing the life out of me. Which leads me to wonder if his quirk is actually strength, instead of super genius.

"Why do you insist on trying to take ten years off of my life, when you go to school. I think it's a bad omen." He mutters and I can't help, but laugh. Hugging him back, almost as tightly.

"Because, I want to see you with grey hair, before you turn 20." I wheeze out and he lets me go, looking me over with a critical eye. Before something catches it and makes him look up. I also look up and see Todoroki. Smiling, I push Keinosuke off of me and stand up, bringing my brother up, with me.

"Keinosuke, this is Todoroki Shoto. Todoroki, this is Keinosuke. My older brother." I introduce and Todoroki nods stiffly. I almost chuckle at how awkward he can be.

"Todoroki? As in our cousin, Todoroki?" Keinosuke checks, and I nod. He looks over to Todoroki, and they stare at each other for a minute, before Keinosuke grins. Patting the shorter's shoulder as he slips off his shoes and picks up his bag.

"Nice to meet you Shoto. Pro-tip, don't allow Kontaru to cook anything - at all. He can't even boil water correctly, without settling something on fire." Keinosuke smirks at my unamused frown. But I can't even argue, because its true.

Last time, I tried to boil water, I set a nearby napkin on fire. No clue how I did it, but it happened. So I'm perfectly content with Keinosuke cook or going out to eat. Though, I do know how to make coffee well enough, so everything is okay. To be honest, the coffee maker does most of the work, in all fairness... which reminds me.

"I'm going to make coffee. Do you want any?" I ask my older brother, since I already know that Todoroki prefers tea over coffee. He grins thankfully and walks past us.

"Yes please. I'm going to take a quick shower, then call Mom and let her know you're alright." He calls as he disappears around the corner.

"But I already texted her, and told her I'm fine." I say back and Keinosuke makes a weird half grunting noise, that sounds almost confused, yet resigned. Whatever. I go over to the coffee maker as Todoroki heads back to the coffee table.

"How old is Keinosuke?" Todoroki asks as I finish up with the coffee maker, letting it do its job and fill my 20 oz cup with beautiful brown liquid.

I hum in thought, before answering. "He turned 17 last August." I tell, looking over at him as he looks down at our homework. "Something wrong Todo?" I ask as my coffee finishes. He doesn't look up as I take my place, next to him after I prep Keinosuke's cup. All he has to do to press the button and wait a minute.

"You're brother should be a student right now, instead of working." He figures out and I chuckle into my cup.

"Well, sort of. If he was normal." Todoroki looks up at me. "His quirk, enhances his brain function and allows him to remember everything. So he skipped like three grades, I think. He graduated from UA support course, when I was in my first year of junior high." I explain, sipping on the warm liquid. I glance down at my work and sigh. I could put off the rest of it till tomorrow, but then I'll have to worry about it tomorrow, instead of doing other shit with Todoroki... Looks like I'm doing it now.

Putting down my cup - damn that's a sad action - I pick up my pencil and start finishing English. But then Todoroki is speaking again.

"Aren't quirks suppose to either, pass on or combine? You're family each has a different kind of quirk." He points out and I chuckle as I look up at him, unconsciously reaching for my beloved coffee.

"Yes, but they can also skip over generations." I pause to take a healthy sip of coffee, before continuing. "My mother has super strength and can easily lift upwards of 10 tons. She was a small time hero back before she had kids. Anyway, her father - my grandfather has a creation quirk that allows him to shift atoms around to make a new shape or a new element. Its call Recreation. I got his quirk - though mine manifested later in life, since it was different. Mine is Alchemy." I explain as he nods along.

"I use living energy - or bio-electricity - as a kick starter in the process of deconstructing matter, before reconstructing it into the shape I want it. Though reconstructing matter into a different element or material is very difficult. I've only been able to do it for the past couple of months, on my own, with small things." I explain, a grin spreading across my face when our first hero class popped into mind.

"So when I was able to do on the second day of school. I was really proud of myself. Despite the circumstances I achieved it under." Shrugging to myself, I take another sip of coffee.

"What about when you make ice or fire?" He asks, looking genuinely curious. His eyes twinkled a little and I smile softly, setting my coffee in my lap as I lean back against the couch.

"Being able to make fire and ice are actually relatively new abilities. Remember how I said, I can shape matter into want I want? For ice, I take water vapor and harden its molecular bonds so it forcibly turns into ice. Then with fire, I cause any flammable gas in the air and speed it up until it ignites, and keep it like that. Then from there, control the amount of oxygen it takes in to control heat and size. Though I use a transmutation circle to help keep it stable." Sighing, I take a gulp of the warm cup.

"I basically mimic pyro-kinesis and cyro-kinesis. It doesn't come naturally to me, like it does to you." Finishing, I place my half done cup on the table. "Anymore questions?" I inquire as Keinosuke appears, in nothing but sweats and a towel around his shoulder. Showing off his toned torso and lean muscles. I actually wonder where he finds the time to work out. He's either sleeping, eating or working on a project. And he'll neglect those first two, to focus on the third one.

"Anymore questions about what?" He questions as he goes into the kitchen to start his coffee. "Also, I'm going to assume Shoto is staying here for the night, since all evidence points towards it." I grunt in confirmation as I sigh, pushing my homework away. I'm not going to finish it right now anyway. I got knocked off my groove.

"Questions about my quirk." I answer his initial question, after taking a swallow of my coffee. "Or about our family quirk history." I added, as I look from my brother to our cousin. He looked deep in thought, as he stared down at his almost finished homework.

"If your grandfather has a creation quirk. Then does your grandmother have a strength or genius quirk?" He asks, "Because, your mom has a strength quirk, but Keinosuke has a genius quirk." Todoroki points as Keinosuke settles himself down on the couch. Stretching over it like a lazy cat, a steaming cup of coffee in his hands as he closes his eyes in content.

"Nana has a strength quirk." Keinosuke's hums as he stretches out his long limbs. He's going through a little bit of a growth spurt, putting him at 184 centimeters. Our dad is 189 centimeters, while our mom is 180. I haven't had a growth spurt in a while, so I'm the shortest at 174. Yet, knowing my luck, I probably won't grow until I'm 20.

"But she's a natural born genius. So we speculate that it manifested into a hyper-genius quirk for Keinosuke." Adding that, I lean back, my head resting against the side of Keinosuke's stomach. His left arm - the outer one - behind his head, as his free hand held his coffee to his chest.

It fell into a peaceful silence for a moment, before Todoroki spoke up again.

"Are we going to the noodle house?" Keinosuke glances down at me, before sighing and glancing up at the clock.

"Luckily for you, it's open late. So yes. Go get ready to go." He says, waving his hand at us as we get our homework together and head to my room. Where I dig up a pair of jeans and a clean hoodie for Shoto to use. He turns around and changes into them as I pull on a pair of baggy joggers and a long sleeve thermal. Slipping my phone, wallet and keys into my pockets, I follow Shoto out to where Keinosuke was waiting for us in ripped jeans, white shirt and leather jacket.

We pull on our shoes and head out. The noodle house only a couple blocks down the street. In which, Shoto and Keinosuke bond over their love for soba as I get ramen. Sure it isn't the best for you, but you can say the same for coffee. Besides, I don't eat it all the time. In the the two weeks we've been here, I've had a single bowl of ramen, before this. So back off.


	20. Chapter 20: Reaction

**Chapter 20: Every Action Has An Equal And Opposite Reaction**

Shoto ended up staying a second night at our apartment, so after eating the breakfast our cousin made out of gratitude - it was amazing, definitely better than Keinosuke's cooking - Shoto and I headed out. Keinosuke simply crawled back into his dark room and passed out before his head hit the pillow. I know, I checked. He was out cold, when I checked before we left.

As we should on the train, I think back on our day yesterday. Keinosuke had the next two days off, so he spent his one of two days off to chill with his awesome little brother and cousin. We woke up mid-morning and did normal morning things. Like drink half a gallon of coffee, and having a good breakfast made by the resident genius, because he's the cook for a good reason. During breakfast, no one talked. Because me and 'Nosuke are coffee addicts and need our daily pot of coffee, before interacting; and Shoto is naturally quiet.

Though once Keinosuke and I were properly caffeinated and fed, we were able to talk and act like normal humans. We thought about staying in, but ultimately decided against it so we could go exploring downtown. Since both me and Keinosuke are shut-ins and haven't been in Masutafu in years. We wondered for hours and pointed out the places we remember. Snacking on little treats from food stalls that have been there since we were kids. We stopped by the local arcade for an hour and ate lunch.

Then as we wondered back, we stopped by a local grocery store and picked up what was needed for dinner, passing by the park. You know _that_ one. I paused, looking down it's path, before Shoto called out to me and I kept moving onwards. Though it felt like my mood dampened after that. To this day only Izuku, knows about Katsuki and me. I haven't told anyone else, and I doubt they did either. Though I have a feeling, that Keinosuke knows there was something between me and the blond.

"Kontaru?" Shoto lays his hand on my shoulder, as I'm jolted out of my thoughts. Looking over to him, he seems concerned. I tried to smile, but it just felt awkward. So, I let it drop, looking down. So it was going to be one of _those_ days. And I've been doing so well, lately, too.

I'll get these little periods of a couple of days, where I just can't shake myself out of this heaviness. It drags on my limbs, like lead weights, and dampens my mood so much, that I have a hard reacting to anything. Those days, feel like I've had my soul sucked out of my body. Leaving me empty and hollow. I know it'll pass, but it just takes me a few days.

"It's nothing, Shoto. Just a little rut. It'll pass in a couple days." I explain, not saying anything else as I put in my ear buds and listen to some classical music. My cousin frowns, but leaves it be. Though I noticed that, his eyes seemed to flicker over to me every couple of minutes. He was worried. I would be moved, but I'm just not in it today.

o0oo0o

Katsuki was irritated. It was like an itch he couldn't reach. It just sat there, taunting him, as it took over his attention. It grew even more demanding as Kontaru and the Half-and-Half bastard walked into together. Walking too close to each other, then seemingly strangers would be. Kontaru placed a hand on the Icy-hot Bastard's shoulder. Whispering to him, and suddenly Katsuki's ire was forgotten as he saw the look in Kontaru's eyes. Saw the limpness in Kontaru's body.

He was in a depressed rut.

Katsuki tsked in distaste as Kontaru sunk into his seat, instantly hiding his face in his arms. Kontaru has been getting them since they were 10. And were really frequent going up to the accident, but then afterwards, Katsuki only saw about two of them, when they were together. After that, he has no idea. But he does know, that to shorten the rut, Kontaru needs lots of banana bread and physical comfort. With like no stress, around him. A quiet, peaceful place like his room with lots of sleep and a cuddle partner is best.

Huffing in annoyance at himself, Katsuki secretly wonders if Kontaru will get what he needs. And if the Half-and-Half bastard will be the one helping him through it. Damn that just pissed him off. Having that Icy-hot bastard anywhere near Kontaru, just seemed so wrong to him. Katsuki, should be the one to help Kontaru, when he's like this. Dammit. But of course, he wasn't allow to.

o0oo0o

I look over to the door as it opens, revealing a heavily bandaged Aizawa-sensei, as he wobbly entered the classroom. My eyes following him up to the podium as my classmates were their noisy selves. Today, it was more exhausting then it was annoying. I just wanted to sleep and eat banana bread.

"My welfare isn't important. Because your fight is far from over." He states, dread made my stomach heavy. Please don't tell me, we're doing another battle class today. "UA's sports festival is fast approaching." Oh. Okay. If that's all, I'm just going to sleep. Except, my classmates had other ideas. And the main one - if you guessed 'to be loud and obnoxious' than you are correct. I turn my head over, to look out the window, before closing my eyes. Willing the noise to quiet down. It didn't.

"It is necessary to demonstrate that UA's crisis protocol are sounds... Or that's the thinking." I look back over to the teacher. This sounds important, I should probably be listening. "Compared to the previous years, there will be five times the police presence. Anyhow, our sports festival will be the greatest opportunity you will get." He tells, "It isn't an event to cancel over a villain attack." I know, I should be happy and excited, but I remain impassive. And because of that, I feel two pairs of eyes on me, heavy with concern.

"Our sports festival is one of Japan's biggest events. The Olympics were once the world's sports festival. The whole country would be whipped into a frenzy over them. But as you know, that tradition has shrunk down to a shell of its former self. And as far as Japan's concerned, what's taken the place of the Olympics is the UA sports festival." Lots of pros will be watching this sports festival of ours, so will scouts. I wonder if I'll be scouted.

"Naturally, you'll gain valuable experience and popularity if you're picked by a big name hero. But you're time is limited. Show the pros what you're made of here and make futures for yourselves. This happens once a year, so you have three chances. If you want to be a hero, then this is an event you can't miss." Well then, looks like I can't miss it.

o0oo0o

The bell rung for lunch, as I was mentally bracing myself, for leaving my chair, Katsuki appeared besides me. Grabbing me by the arm, hauling me up and out of my chair. I frown at him as he leads us out of the classroom without saying a single word. Our classmates not paying attention, do to their excitement over the sports festival.

"Katsuki, what are you doing?" I ask blandly, and only get a glare as he pulls me down the halls to what I assume is the nurse's office. "Why are we here?" He opens the door, ignoring Recovery Girl as he dragged me over to the bed in the furtherest corner of the room. Pushing me into it and closing the curtain, all in one fluid motion.

"I'm going to get you food. If you fucking move from here, I'm going to punch you." He grunts and leaves. I blink in surprise as it processes, before shaking my head at him. Damn him. I'm taking off my shoes as Recovery Girl appears.

"I'm apologize Recovery Girl. Katsuki is like that, sometimes." I explain as I sit properly on the edge of the bed. "But do you mind, if I rest here during lunch?" I am exhausted and ready to fall asleep anywhere, but if she says no, then I'll leave and go find Shoto. I'd deal with Katsuki later.

"Seems to me, that Bakugo cares a lot for you." She states and I shrug. Not really having an answer for her. "I don't mind you resting here, but will you tell me what got you here? I heard from Midoriya, that your personality is quite different, Tsujima." She says, gesturing for me to lay down. I do and pull the blanket over my legs and stomach.

"My childhood wasn't the best, so I guess it's a coping method. Where I get really depressed for a couple days, before I can function normally again. It's been a while, since my last rut though. So I couldn't call in sick." I explain, yawning at the end as I twist on to my side, pulling the blanket up to my chin. My eyes fluttering close, as Recovery Girl goes back to her desk.

I think I fell asleep, because the next thing I'm aware of, is Katsuki gently shaking me awake, as he called out my name. I look up at him as he sits down on the edge of the bed. A tray of food in his hands, an odd look in his eyes. Sitting up, slowly, my body felt stiff and weak. But I sit up, ablate hunch over, and once I'm good, Katsuki hands me a plate with banana bread and a cup of warm green tea. Placing, the plate in my lap, I hold the cup in both of my hands, and sigh. Letting the warmth seep into my hands.

I'm down half the cup, when Katsuki starts munching on some spicy curry. We eat in silence for a while. Once, I finished my tea and bread, Katsuki hands me a small bowl of rice and a spoon. I take them, as silently as they were given to me and slowly eat, until the bowl is empty. Finishing as Katsuki finishes his curry. I hand back the dishes, and he takes them, piling them on to the tray, before standing up.

"Go to sleep. I'll be back later." He orders, pushing me back into the bed. He's pulling away, and I felt my chest tighten in panic for a moment. And in that moment, I reach out ad grab his hand. He looks at me surprised, before quickly changing it to annoyance.

"Why?" He raises an unimpressed brow at my vague question. "Why are you helping me?" I specify. "We're not even together, anymore." I add on, quietly. Barely a whisper. It sounded like regret in my ears. The sound, made confusion and irritation breed in my stomach.

"Im doing it _because_ , we aren't together." My eyes widened at his quiet confession, my hand tightening around his, as I searched my face for any falsities. There were none. He was serious and I felt small under the intensity of his gaze. I let go of his hand as I burrow under blanket.

"Do as you please."


	21. Chapter 21: Stormy

**Chapter 21: The Calm Before The Storm**

I was woken up by Katsuki, almost an hour after school had ended for the day. While I was annoyed that he didn't wake me up, before classes had started, I was more thankful that he didn't. I wasn't running on a whole lot by the time lunch started. And probably would've passed out during a lecture. Which wouldn't have been very good.

He waits by the door as I collect myself and quietly thank Recovery Girl for letting me rest in her office, before Katsuki hands me my bag. I thank him too. For everything that he has done for me today. He grunts and starts walking towards the front of the school. I quickly follow him, standing next to him as we walk.

It's quiet between us. It always has been for us. But the opposite is also true. I feel like, we are either quiet or loud. There's no in between for us to be. For us, quiet is understanding and reassurance. Is our safe place with each other. A place where words don't really have a place. We find each other in the silence. Letting our bodies speak instead of our words.

Then to be loud, is to be explosive. Our tempers ignite and feed each other and grow hotter and hotter. More destructive, when not properly monitored. For us, noise is a buffer, a wall between us, a maze of emotions we can barely navigate. The place where we go and lose each other. A place where words fuel our fires. Words that are tangled in negative emotions, that blind us of reality.

Maybe we're odd. And normal couples are the opposite. But it worked for us. Until it didn't, but, I guess that point is moot, since we are no longer together. Yet Katsuki... He... I don't know, what to do about him. But I do know that I want to go back to bed, after maybe asking Keinosuke to make some banana bread.

We're on the train, before I realize it and heading towards my station. Katsuki at my side as we get off. Even though his station is further along the rail - that's if he hasn't moved from his childhood home. We're walking towards my apartment, though I notice that Katsuki is walking slower, allowing me to lead the way. Silently allowing me to direct us where we go. I felt like it had a much deeper meaning than what I was ready for.

Going up the two flights of stairs, it takes it get to my apartment, I turn the corner first and see Shoto standing, in uniform, in front of my door. Stopping in shock, Katsuki runs into my back.

"The fuck? Why did you stop?" Katsuki hisses, before looking up, to where I stare, Shoto looking up at the same time. Eyes widen, before narrowing, as I walk over to him. Katsuki glaring and frowning as he followed behind me.

"Shoto, why are you here?" I ask, but before he got a chance to answer, Katsuki was blowing up.

"Shoto? Since fucking when were you guys all buddy-buddy?! Also, how the hell, does he know where you live?" He snarls, explosions going off in his hands. I feel what little energy I had gained from my nap, drain away, as Katsuki throws his hissy-fit. I didn't even have the energy to roll my eyes.

"Bakugo, we're cousins." Shoto answers for me as I pull out my key and open the door, slipping inside. The two following inside, without my permission. God, I just wanted to sleep.

"Cousins? Bullshit! I've known Seru our whole damn lives. I've meet his entire family at least twice. I've never seen you _once_ , at one his family gatherings." He spits, as I sigh, dropping on the couch, curling up in the corner. Pulling a throw blanket over me. Shoto and Katsuki taking their shoes off as the blond frowns.

"That's because Shoto's father kept Shoto and the rest of our cousins from our father's side, away from us." Keinosuke explains, appearing in the hallway entrance. He glances down at me, frowning a little, before ruffling my hair and moving into the kitchen as Katsuki and Shoto look at him. "Hey there Katsuki." He greets as he looks him up and down. Shoto slipping past him and joining me on the couch.

"I was worried when you didn't come back from lunch. When you didn't return after class, I thought you left early. So I came to check up on you." He tells quietly as Keinosuke and Katsuki talk. I nod, snuggling into my blanket - it was really soft and fluffy.

"Whatever. Seru." He calls and I hum in acknowledgement. "If you aren't back to normal by tomorrow and go to school. I will drag your ass back here, whether you like it or not." He threatens as he leaves, slamming the door closed as he goes. Huffing, I close my eyes as Keinosuke and Shoto stare at me. Waiting for an answer. An answer, I refuse to give to them.

Instead, I drift off to sleep, surrounded by soft, warmth and the image of red eyes fading behind my eyes lids.

o0oo0o

Two weeks pass, with my rut being a full three days in duration, before I was allowed to released by its shackles. When I return to school, there were a few questions, but I Ignored the - I needed to get caught up on my missed school work. But now it is the first day of the sports festival. Class 1-A in its prep room, awaiting to be called out.

I'm sitting next to Izu-tan as Iida tells us the event is going to start soon, before Shoto calls out to Izu-tan. I look up at my cousin as he walks over. I'm both intrigued and nervous. Because, despite warming up to me - we're half way there, he's still hesitant around me and Keinosuke - he's still icy cold to everyone else. I don't know how to help, but I'm just trying to at least gain his trust, before pushing him to interact with our classmates too much.

"Todoroki, what is it?" Izuku asks, as he stands, going over to taller. My eyes watch them closely as they speak.

"Objectively speaking... I'm stronger than you. More capable." He states, causing my eyes to narrow, Izuku muttering out a response. What is he thinking? "All Might has his eye on you, doesn't he." What? He does? Since _when_? "Now, I'm not about to pry into why that is, but..." Oh, _I'm_ about to. "I will beat you." Huh. Way to be direct Shoto.

"Ooh! A declaration of war for the class's strongest?!" Kaminari says, while I sigh heavily. Sometimes I feel way older then I am. Now is one of those times.

"Hey man. Why pick a fight? We're about to go on." Kirishima points out, going to Shoto as I stand up warily.

"I don't really care. I'm not here to pretend to be anyone's friends." I couldn't help the stab of hurt that twisted my gut as I sling my arm around Izuku's shoulders.

"Well it looks like you got yourself two fighters, Todoroki. I'm going to beat you to show that hothead," I point at a frowning Katsuki, with my thumb. "that there are people who stand equal to him." I turn towards the blond, himself. "I'm going to beat you too. Someone's gotta knock you off your high horse."

"Todoroki. I'm not sure why you felt the need to tell me that you'll beat me. You're clearly stronger. And I can't measure up to some of the other's in skill." I frown at his self-doubt. Damn, I've been so busy with everything else, that I forgot to be with my best friend. We've spent years a part, and this is how I treat him once I'm finally back. I'm the world's crappiest best friend. "Objectively speaking, even..." He trails off.

"Gee, don't be so negative Midoriya." Kirishima tries to lighten up. "No need..." Kirishima is interrupted by Izuku as my arm slides off of his hunched shoulders.

"But! Everyone... including the kids from the other courses are aiming for the top." He states, my eyes widening. Izuku... has changed. He's changed a lot. And I'm not sure how I feel about that. "And I'm... well, lemme tell you this - I'm _not_ going to fall behind." Izuku declares.

"I'm going for it, with everything I've got." I so swept up in my thoughts, I didn't hear it right away. But it was there and growing steadily stronger in sound.

"kooonnntaaA-KUUUNNNNNNN!" A shiver a terror rip right through me as the door slams open, before I could think of a way to make a tactful retreat. Because the beautiful female teen with jet black hair is pure craziness. That is directed at me.

"Zaiki-san! Why are you here? We're about to start." I try to get her off of me as she jumps onto me and clings to me like white on rice. She nuzzles my head, her arms latched onto my neck, with legs wrapped tightly around my waist. God, why is she here? _Now_ of all times too?

"Ah, Kochan, who this?" Izuku asks, and I almost whimper. I didn't want Zaiki anywhere near Izuku, Katsuki or Shoto. Or really anyone I know and see fairly often. Yet here we are. Her existence now known, and unforgettable from their minds.

"Guys, this is..." I trail off, from the shame and embarrassment. Unfortunately, Zaiki, finishes for me.

"I'm Zaiki Hanasei, Konta-kun's fiancée." I'm a good, little, gay boy. What did I do to deserve this? _Seriously_.


	22. Chapter 22: Words

**Chapter 22: Silence Is Stronger Than Sound**

I knew Katsuki was looking at me, waiting for some kind of explanation for this situation that I've purposely forgotten about. About this stupid arranged marriage. But what am I suppose to say? That it wasn't my choice - because it _wasn't_ . If I don't play along, my father will be fired and shamed. Because this is his boss's only kid. And she gets everything she wants.

Looking over to him, meeting his eyes, I plead for silence from him. _Don't speak_. _Don't blow it for me_. **_I'm sorry_**. He wretches his head away as they call for us. My eyes squeeze tight against the tears, controlling myself, then pulling Zaiki-san off of me.

"Zaiki-san, please let go, we have to go now." She whined, but let go, skipping out, but not before pressing a kiss to my cheek. I cringe as she leaves. Not looking at anyone as I'm the first to leave the room and start towards arena. My whole day has been shot to hell, knowing that Zaiki-san is here. It's even worse, knowing that everyone knows about her.

Couldn't she have just met with me in private? Why does she have to publicly humiliate me every time we meet up? I don't get the reasoning. She suppose to have me like her, not resent her.

I need to figure out how to deal with her. And Katsuki. For once, he's keeping his emotions under a tight wrap. And its very concerning. I have no idea what he's thinking, and I fear he's going to do something rash.

o0oo0o

I was right. I wish I wasn't though. Because, now I pray to any deity that might listen, to have the ground would swallow me whole and take me away from the burning embarrassment as everyone, _freaked_ out.

"Make no mistake about it - first place... and Tsujima Kontaru will be mine." He announced to all of Japan. "So stay away from him Zaiki Hanasei." My face was on fire, as I hid it in my hands. I wish that I could back in my coma. Or away from here. In another country. Any country, really. I'm not picky. Just anywhere, except here. _God_.

I couldn't look at anyone, as the Midnight settled everyone down. And began to explain how the qualifiers are going to work. Honestly, I was only half-listening, to wrapped up in my own overwhelming embarrassment. And terror. Because Katsuki, basically just revealed our biggest secret. I could practically, here my family screaming at the TV. _I'm,_ internally, screaming.

"It's a race between every member of all eleven classes. The course is a four-kilometer around the stadium itself." I tune in as Midnight explains the rules of the first qualifier. An obstacle race. "Since our school preaches about freedom in all things... As long as you stay on track, anything is fair game." The excitement is starting to worm past the embarrassment, but if I'm not careful, than it will takeover again.

So I focus on the opening doors, ways to slow my opponents racing through my mind. The lights, going out like 3... 2... 1. The horns blare, and I'm sprinting. Squeezing my way to the front and pushing out as Todoroki ices the floor. But I thought he would do that, so I'm atop of the ice, dashing up to him as the others struggle to catch up. I'm going to win. I want to beat them. All of them, especially Bakugo.

I want to prove that I'm strong and equal to him...

I'm just annoyed when the robots from the entrance exam show up. I don't even pause as the Zero-pointers block the way. I'm using my embarrassment to fuel my anger, which pushes me harder. And I running between them, weaving between limbs and dodging attacks. More pissed off then anything as I get by them. Todoroki hot on my heels, our classmates not far behind.

The next obstacle was a carven with ropes connects tall pillars. I don't want to makes bridges, because that would help others, so I'm going to steal a page from Bakugo's book.

I propel myself to the next pillar using fire as a booster, running to the edge, and boosting to the next one. Repeating the action over and over until I make it to the other side, Todoroki and Bakugo right behind me. Next is the mine field.

My blood boils as I jump onto the pole holding the spiked wire, containing the mine field, and jump over to the next one. I'm still on the track, technically. Im just on the very edge of it. I'm almost at the end, when a massive explosion goes off and I see Izuku be catapulted to the front of Todoroki and Bakugo. I'm leaping down as he explodes himself forward again. Landing in front of me.

I running after him at full speed, Todoroki and Bakugo right behind me - maybe 2 feet back. I reach out my hand as we run through the archway. Returning to the arena. I plow through him as he stops, sending us tumbling to the ground, groaning in pain as they announce that Izuku wins first place.

My anger fizzles out when I see the pride and joy in Izu-tan's face. So I sigh, standing up, and offered my hand. He smiles widely at me, taking it, allowing him to haul him up to his feet.

"Nice job, I won't lose next time though." I say, ruffling his hair, before moving on, seeing as Uraraka and Iida wanted to talk to him. I stand back, smiling a little as I catch my breath. Breathing slow and deep as I stretch my arms above my head. As my arms fall back to my sides, I notice Shoto looking at me. I look away. His earlier words hurt me, but my shame from Zaiki and Katsuki, only had it worse.

I know I should talk to them. Maybe beat the living crap out of Bakugo. But I couldn't, so I let my silence speak for me. Telling those who understand, about my anger and embarrassment. Today hasn't been the easiest. And I don't think, it'll get any easier.

o0oo0o

The next event was the cavalry battle. It the same as normal, except each student as a point worth. Starting with 5 points. So the person in 42nd is worth 5, 41st is 10, so on and so on. And the person in first place is worth 10 million points. I couldn't help but laugh a little, when _everyone_ turned and stared at Izu-tan. I wonder if he'll survive.

To be honest, it went as smoothly as one expected. Which is, not at all. But it ended up like this. Team Midoriya came in fourth. In third was Bakugo's team. Second was Todoroki's team. And first place was my team.

I sat smiling smug as my competitors gape at me, the ten million head band being twirled around my finger. "Remember Shoto, you're not the only gunning for the top." He frowns deeply, while I smirk, tossing the head band up and catching it as Present Mic and Aizawa do a recap.

"It seems like Tsujima waited until right after Midoriya's attack to snatch the 10 million. Using his quirk, Tsujima was able to make a bow and arrow, he caught the head band and yanked it back to him in the last seconds of the event." Aizawa-sensei explains. Present Mic screaming about something, before they announced there was going to be an hour lunch break before the final event.

I make a hasty retreat, before anyone (Zaiki-san) can confront me about earlier. In doing so I stumble across a conversation between my cousin and best friend.

"You overwhelmed me. So much so that I broke my own pledge." I know what this is about. We've talked about it once. And the conversation wasn't pleasant. "Iida, Kaminari, Yaoyorozu, Tokoyami, Uraraka... None of them felt it. In that last instant, I was the only one feeling the pressure. I experienced All Might's true power up close. Remember?" _This?_ I tried to debunk it, but Shoto wasn't having it.

"So... What're you're say...?" Whatever you think it is he's talking about, Izu-tan, this isn't that.

"I felt the same pressure coming from you. So... Are you All Might's illegitimate child or something?" I resist the urge the smack my palm against my face. Because why should I suffer, because of my cousin's actions. I'm not going to put myself in physical pain because of that.

Izu-tan is struggling and muttering his way through some kind of response. Before pausing and gathering himself up for an actual response. "So... Let me ask you, then... Why would you think that I..." He trails off, as I shake my head. This is pretty much an, one-sided conversation

"'No that's not it.' Interesting way to phrase it... There's definitely something you're hiding. I'm sure of it." I agree with Shoto on this. It's okay to have secrets - I obviously have my own - but what matters is what lengths you're willing to go, to keep them secret, that matter.

"You know, my father is Endeavor." I close my eyes against the direction, Shoto is steering this conversation. "The second greatest hero of all time. So if you're somehow connected to the number one guy, then... all the more reason for me to _crush_ you."

"My dad... He's a powerful bastard who only thinks if becoming stronger. Yeah, he's gone all out to make a name for himself as a hero, but... He's always seen that Living Legend, All Might, as a roadblock and an eyesore. My father could never beat All Might on his own. So he came up with another plan." My bangs shadow my eyes, as my hands clench tight into fists.

"What's this about Todoroki? Why are you telling me about this?" Izuku asks, and I wonder along with him. Why is Shoto telling him this?

"Quirk marriages. You've heard of them, yeah?" They're the reason why I'm really not in contact with my father's side of the family. "They started to become a problem during the second or third generation after quirks appeared... Strong individuals would choose a partner and force them into marriage for the sole purpose of passing on a strengthened version of their own quirk. Those earlier generations were lacking in ethics. With his wealth and fame, my father made my mother's family agree to the marriage. All to get his hands on her quirk."

"Raising me as a hero who could exceed All Might, just to fulfill his own ambitions." He grits out. "I hate it! Being nothing more than a tool for that piece of human garbage. As I remember it, Mom was always crying... 'I can't stand that left side of yours'... She said before pouring scalding water on my face." When Shoto first told me about it, it was shocking, but fit with the stories my own father told me about. All I wanted to do was hug Shoto, but he isn't one for physical contact, so I restrained myself.

"In short, not using my left side against you was my revenge on him. Never using my rotten father's quirk... No... By raising to the top without it... I'll have denied him everything." Shoto reveals. I think I understand, his logic. But it feels flawed somewhere.

"Your connection with All Might... Keep it to yourself if you want. Either I'll rise above you with just my right side. Sorry for wasting your time." Shoto says walking out of the alcove, I pull back, hiding around the corner, but waiting. Not leaving just yet. I don't think, Izuku will just let Shoto leave like that.

"I've... always had help. No matter the situation... I... I've only come this far because other people helped me." Izuku confesses, and isn't wrong. But isn't right either. "All Might... I want to be like him... For that I have to become the strongest. Might seem like a lame motivation compared to yours... But I'm not going to lose. All the people who've helped me, that's how I'm going to repay them!" He declares. "Let me return your declaration of war with my own... I'm... I'm going to beat you!"

It's the silence that follows, filling the area with a seriousness, that speaks louder than the words declared. It's the silence that connects us all. And fills us with determination. Silence will always be louder then sound. Because it says what can't be said. That's why people go when the silence overtakes them.

Yet, in silence I find solace... I find Katsuki.


	23. Chapter 23: Heated

**Chapter 23: Difference Between Lost And Forgotten Part 1** **(Warning - get's a little steamy)**

 _Lost_ _\- Become **unable** to find (someone or something)_

 _Forgotten \- Put out of one's mind; **cease** to think of or consider_

o0oo0o

 _It was January tenth..._

 _I sigh, turning away from my window, snow slowly drifting down to the ground outside it. I feel like the ice crystals are silently mocking me. A quiet reminder of what once was. It's been almost a year since I broke it off with him, but... his image sometimes seems to be dancing right at the edge of my vision._

 _So close, but not there. Not anymore._

 _I hate the snow._

o0oo0o

With lunch over, now it's time for the tournament. Since there are the sixteen members of the four groups, it'll be a nice, formal one.

"The match ups will be decided by drawing lots." Midnight explains, holding up a box. "Once that's settled, we'll move on to the festivities and then the tournament." Oh yea, that's right. I forgot about the festivities before the actual competition. To be fair, I've been a little busy with a few other things.

"It's up to each of you six finalists whether or not you participate in the fun. I expect some of you would rather take a breather and save your strength." Joining them wasn't even a consideration. I _need_ to save my strength. Because sooner or later, I'm going to run into Shoto, Izuku or Katsuki. They're all powerhouses in their own ways, but I can't just forget about the others. So I'll take that time to formulate strategies.

Something strange happened then. Ojiro back out, and so did the other kid that was on my team, with Shinso. Talking about how he couldn't remember anything during the calvary battle, and how he didn't deserve the opportunity, since he doesn't remember earning it.

To be truthful, those two were kind of unresponsive during the whole thing. It weirded me out, but I just thought that they were focusing and nervous. I was. Anyway, they were replaced by Tetsutetsu (who names their child that, honestly?) and Shiozaki. So once everything settles we all draw lots and the battles are as follows:

Midoriya vs Shinso. Todoroki vs Sero. Shiozaki vs Kaminari. Iida vs Hatsume. Ashido vs me. Tokoyami vs Yaoyorozu. Tetsutetsu vs Kirishima (which is going to be hilarious, I just know it.) Then finally Uraraka vs Bakugo.

Which reminds me. I haven't checked my phone since the sports festival started... I don't want to check it... I'm going to have to check it... I really don't want to check it... Later.

During the festivities, I wander in the back halls of the stadium, wanting to avoid all other people. And when it was announced that the tournament would be staring soon, I started to head back. Knowing that I couldn't put off human interaction much longer. But it seems that I would be interacting with the worst of them all.

"Endeavor."

The pro-hero turns around, his flames covering him, a sneer on his face once he spots me. "Oh you're the one that won the calvary battle." He mutters and I snarl at him. This is the first time, I've met him face to face, but I hate him. I hate him for everything his done to my father, his sister. Her children. Shoto. I hate him. I hate him with my very fiber.

"Can't even recognize your own nephew?" I spit at him, causing him to turn towards me, fully. Teal eyes narrowed, mouth set in a frown.

"I have no siblings." He states and I roll my eyes.

"You're 'wife' does. What kind of neglectfully husband forgets about his own 'wife's' family?" I notice how his fists clenched. I could feel the heat of his fire from where I stand - several feet away from him. "Oh that's right - your kind." You know, this isn't one of my smarter ideas, but I can't stop myself. The anger and hatred I have for him, are bubbling up and burning me up. Causing my blood to boil in my veins.

"Be careful who you speak to boy." He warns and instead of shrinking under the pressure of his glare, I stand taller.

"Or else you'll beat me like your children? Like your wife? Act like the savage you are?" It's so freeing to say these words to him. Way more, then what I was expecting. Even though I know, full well, what the repercussions might be.

"Ryuusuke." He hissed softly to himself. "That bastard." I fucking growl at him. I dare he call my father that. My dad, who works so fucking hard to support his family. Who never missed any event, despite being slammed with work. Who sometimes went days without sleeping, so he could get ahead in his work enough to take a couple days off to spend with us.

"Don't you fucking call my dad, a bastard, you dried up shit stain." He visibly tenses up, his flames growing brighter in their intensity. Showing off his anger that rolled off of him in waves. Baring down on me. But I stand against them. Taking them on as I glare right back at my uncle.

I don't notice the footsteps until, All Might speaks up, interrupting our clash of will. "Endeavor? Young Tsujima? What is happening?" He asks in earnest, but I'm still riled up, my anger boiling over the edge. Getting dangerously hot. Meaning, I'm murderous, and have no filter or rational though process.

"Go fuck yourself, old man." I turning away as All Might reaches for me. "And Endeavor - I hope you freeze to death in the pits of icy hell." I'm fuming, and it down cool down as I get farther from Endeavor, I think it's actually getting worse. But I'm so angry, that I'm quiet. That's terrifies me, because I've never been _this_ angry.

I'm so angry, that I'm freezing everything over. That has never happened.

When I get to my class's specter box, people are starting to shiver, but I couldn't care. Why did I come here again? Looking past my classmates, I saw Izuku winning against his opponent. That's right, Izuku's battle was the first one.

"Seru, the fuck is wrong with you." I'm glaring harshly at Bakugo. I've had a shitty day, and he has only helped in making it worse.

The blond seems almost taken back by my reaction, and is standing, over by my side and dragging my away from our classmates, within seconds. I'm trying to yank away my hand as he drags me away. But his grip strengthen has always been better then mine. It would leave bruises on my waist and body, from gripping me too tight.

"Let go of me Bakugo!" I scream at him, punching his cheek. He curses loudly, letting go of my wrist. Then quickly, faster then my fury-clouded mind can keep up with, he's rounding on me. Pressing me to the frost covered wall, his hot breath a white puff, his eyes living fire.

When his lips press against mine, my anger is forgotten. My mind space now being taken up by Katsuki. His lips, pressed so harshly against mine, being so soft. His hands, unbearably hot, gripping my waist under my clothes. His spiky hair, softer then expected, being gripped tightly in my fingers, as I pull him closer. So close that our bodies are flush against each other, limbs tangled. Mouths opening, struggling for the dominance, neither of us wanted to give up.

I feel like I'm being consumed. I feel lost when he pulls away. My eyes opening in almost a panic, when his eyes meet mine, briefly, before his lips descended onto my neck. My mind goes blank as Katsuki nips and kisses my neck. Heat pooling in my stomach, chest swelling and limbs tightening around the blond.

After being away for so long, I've nearly forgotten this feeling. This life-giving feeling. How did I get by with it? This intensity and heat. The fire in his eyes. The warmth that poured off of him. The confidence he held so proudly. The feeling of him right there.

This quiet understanding between us. I've been lost without it.

I let out a soft whine, and his lips are on on mine again, quieting me. My hands leave his hair, going down to his neck and further down to his waist, tugging on his jacket. The spilt second it took to pull it off of him, was too long. And I greedily pull him back, like a man starving when present an all you can eat buffet. My hand roaming all over his back, feeling how the muscles have been defined and toned in the years since I last got to feel them.

My nail scratching down them as Katsuki's fingers dig into the flesh of my waist and thigh, before one hand slid down to my knee and was pulling it around his waist. My gasp breaking the kiss for a moment when I feel his arousal press against my ass. My head turns to the side as I catch my breath. Only to have it stolen as Katsuki bites down onto my exposed neck, harshly. Causing me to curse softly. It's going to leave a mark.

He releases me after a moment, before resting his head against my shoulder. Chests heaving, hands still where they are, cause us to burn. It's quiet, as our actions dawn on us. But no matter, how long I wait, the regret doesn't show. Only satisfaction and relief. Like coming home after a stressful day.

"Kontaru." He calls out my name, and I can't stop the sigh that escapes me at the sound. It sounds like a prayer that's been answered.

"Katsuki." I feel his back tense up, before relaxing. The tension draining from him. Completely relaxed in my embrace. He sets down my leg, his arms winding around my waist, fingers drawing absentminded patterns.

"Better?" He asks, causing me to chuckle, as my fingers loosen up. Running up and down his naked back.

"Better." I answer, and silence embraces us like a warm blanket. Peace and solace filling the empty spaces. Encasing us in our own little world. Shielding us from the outside horrors and drama. Allowing us to just feel each other, as a thought popped into my mind.

Maybe I wasn't lost during our time away, because I had forgotten the feeling of us. Maybe I was lost because I _remembered_.


	24. Chapter 24: Unknown

**Chapter 24: Difference Between Lost And Forgotten Part 2 (Ending might be a little triggering)**

 _Lost \- Be **deprived** of, or cease to have or retain (something)_

 _Forgotten \- Inadvertently **neglect** to attend to, do, or mention something _

o0oo0o

 _"Kontaru." A low voice whispered in my ear. I turn my head away, snuggling into the warm pillow at my side. It vibrates, which is weird. I don't have any vibrating pillows. "Kontaru." The says again, the warmth enveloped me, causing me to sigh. Before it was crudely taken away, laughter, causing me to open my eyes._

 _I see Keinosuke. Standing there, next to my bed, my blankets in his hand. But my pillow was still here. Looking at it, it was actually Shoto. Who was awake and smiling. Laughter rumbling in his chest, as my limbs clung to his body. Sighing, I hide my face in his left shoulder. The warm one. When I found out that his left side is actually naturally warm, while the right one is naturally cold, it sent me into a fit of laughter._

 _But lately, I find myself longing for a body that was this hot on_ both _sides. Not that I would ever admit that to anyone._

o0oo0o

We stay there, in each other's embrace for a while, before we had to let go. My match was the fifth one. Meaning I'd have to go through Katsuki before I get to Shoto or Izuku, and then to first place. And that is coming up soon. Seeing as the first two flew by and the third went pretty quick, but the fourth is crawling by.

I'm cold the second his skin leaves mine. Loneliness causing goosebumps to rise. And I shiver at the strong reaction as Katsuki turns and picks up his jacket, putting it back on. Much against my better will, I felt disappointment flood me at the loss. Looking around as Katsuki situates himself, I notice that all the frost and ice are gone, and can't help but laugh a little. Katsuki grunts in questioning, turning back to me.

I smile at him softly, liking the way his cheeks flushed in reaction. I close the few feet between us and press chaste kiss to his slightly swollen lips, my arms wrapping around his neck. I feel him almost sigh into the kiss, and smile. Pulling away, I press my forehead to his, his hands on my hips. Just like before. I wonder where that leaves us now.

Sighing deeply through my nose, I pull away, meeting only a little resistance. Hot eyes baring into me. But I need to go to the bathroom and what the damage is. My neck is lightly throbbing from where he bit down. And it seems at one point, he managed to unzip my jacket and expose my chest and stomach. My hand slides my stomach and chest, shivering at how sensitive it is, before my hand landed on the bite. It seems to be more on my shoulder then my neck.

Which is good, because then with the jacket's high collar, I'll be able to hide it easily. Though I'm pretty sure there are other marks on my neck, that won't be that easy to hide. Huffing in annoyance, I push open the door to the bathroom, which is empty, luckily. Standing in front of the mirror, I turn head to the side and see only light red marks, that are quickly fading. Turning my head the other way, I move my jacket off my shoulder and see the bite.

He didn't break the skin, but it left a clear impression and hickey. A bruise from the actual bite started to form around the dark red hickey in the middle. I sigh, this is going to take _forever_ to heal from. Running a hand through my hair, I notice more bruises around my waist and hips. Caused from Katsuki's tight grip. Can't say I didn't enjoy it though.

Huffing, I right myself and my clothes. Making sure everything that needed to get covered up, was in fact covered up. I need to get going, my match is starting soon.

o0oo0o

My match is against Ashido. Definitely a tricky opponent, with quick reflexes and versatile quirk. But I had already prepared a stragey against her, while I was wandering. As I've done with everyone else in the tournament. Just tossing them out as the losers were defeated. Focusing and re-honing the remaining for the winners. That being said, I'm not holding anything back against anyone. So no surprise when I go all out from the start with Ashido.

The second the match is started, I'm dropping down to a low crouch and pressing my hand together. Building high walls around my classmate, leaving the only exits as the sky and in front of me. Then the spilt second she's startled, I rush in and quickly, roundhouse kick her into one of the walls. Following up, instantly, and slamming my palms to the cool concrete. Smirking as thick concrete vines wrap around her and pull her halfway into the thick way. Immobilizing her, before she had the chance to react.

Ashido groaning, wriggling around, trying to get free. But I shake my head as her vain attempts, as I drop the walls, except the chuck that she's attached to. Midnight asking if my classmates could get free, as I stepped back. Smiling smugly to myself at my flawlessly execution. All the while, Ashido struggles for only a moment more, before conceding. Allowing Midnight to declare me the winner of the match. Allowing me to out back the concrete and set Ashido.

We cleared out as the sixth match of the first round of the tournament, to begin. Which was over as quickly as our match. Which Ashido, who is totally chill and laid-back, was actually kind of expecting me to win, but didn't want to give it up so easily. Which I'm so grateful for. Fighting someone who has already given up is no fun and never forces you outside your comfort zone to become stronger.

Yet as we're walking back to the class's specter box, I spot Zaiki up ahead. Causing me to freeze to my spot, Ashido looking at me, failing to notice the bane of my existence yet. She opens her mouth to ask what's wrong, but I just shake my head and send her on ahead. She gives me a dubious look, but complies anyway. Going ahead as Zaiki walks out of the shadows and over to me. Ashido not noticing her, made me realize that Zaiki has her quirk activated.

It's called Hidden, she can hide her presence from anyone she chooses. She could be in front of a crowd, and just kind of fizzle out of your consciousness. I've literally seen her do this before in conversations or meetings. She will just ghost someone, without them realizing or remembering it.

Anyway, Zaiki isn't smiling - which is like her default expression - so I know I'm _fucked_ , right now. And in that moment, I curse Katsuki and his sinful mouth to a thousand years of suffering. So as I'm standing there, cursing every living thing under the sky, Zaiki walks right up to me, bangs covering her eyes. My eyes glance down at her, nervously. Wondering what's going on in her head.

It was completely silent for a moment, before she suddenly looked up at me, eyes narrowed. Tears causing the fear and panic to swell inside of me. It was almost enough to make me have a panic attack, I shit you not. Because now Zaiki will go to her father, and have my father fired and shamed from the community and after breaking off the marriage with me. I could see my whole life collapse in front of me, pushing me closer and closer to a panic attack, before Zaiki smiled.

I stopped breathing from shock. Because it wasn't menacing. It wasn't threatening. It was understanding. And sympathetic. I was just at a loss for words, as she reached out and grabbed my hands with hers and held them close to her heart.

"Me too. I'm gay too." Any air that was in my body left me in a big rush, because this had to be some kind of prank right? I couldn't be dreaming, this was _way_ too out of left field to be something that my brain could make. I couldn't even care about the fish gaping look on my face, because this _couldn't_ be real! It's just not possible... Could it?

"I'm sorry. I don't understand. You're what?" My voice comes out as squeaky and strained. My eyes pleading for some kind of answer that is digestible to my poorly functioning brain.

She just smiles so softly at me, amusement and slight worry in her eyes. "I like girls. I don't like guys. I never have." She explains slowly, as to allow my windows 98 brain to retain and comprehend the life-altering information.

"But then why...?" I trail off as she giggles softly. Her soft, warm hands give my cold, clammy hands a reassuring squeeze.

"Why want to marry you? Why act all crazy in love with you?" She finishes for me, I nodded slowly, unsure of what to say. She sighed, shrugging. "My mom, she's been breathing down my back to pick a suitor, despite how young I am. I had just figured myself out, when you came up in conversation. You peeked my interest, and when I requested to meet you, I knew that if I was forced to marry a man, I'd want it to be you. You were my age, and I could kind of tell that you were like me - gay." She explains. Giving me the time to reboot my brain and get some actual function back.

"If you knew, that you were gay by the time you wanted me to be your fiancé, then why didn't you tell me? I mean we were alone a lot of the time, when we were together." I point out, but she shakes her pretty little head. Her smile falling and her grip tightened for a moment, before relaxing.

"No, Papa always had someone watching us. They would've heard and told him and you know how that works." It doesn't. Not in this society. How are you suppose to tell your parents, who expect you to be one thing, that you're the opposite. I've done a lot of disappointing things to my family, being gay shouldn't be on that list as well.

I laugh bitterly to myself, nose sniffing. Now they know, and they're -... I close my eyes against the pain that tightened my chest. I'm not ashamed of being gay, I'm just scared that I'm going to let down my family. Before today it was only Izuku that knew. But now, they all do, or at least can piece it together. I don't know what to do anymore. The bite mark Katsuki gave me feels like a brand, not a sign of passion and want from the blond.

"I'm sorry for earlier." You know, I always forget how smart Zaiki is. "If I had known that me being there, would have done that. I wouldn't have been there." She tells and I shake my head. She couldn't have known. I couldn't have known. We're both gay kids in a society that silently demands us to be with the opposite sex. We were scared and tried to survive the best we could. So we couldn't have known. We couldn't.


End file.
